My Pharaoh

Chapter 15

Paloma

He's sitting there, in front of me, and now all I feel is anger, confusion and hurt.

I prayed for him to be here, and yet, I didn't anticipate that I would want to kill him myself for the betrayal of a fake death.

"Paloma-"

"Don't," I interrupt "you don't get to speak to me."

He looks at me sadly, and then he looks down. The silence is so loud. And it feels like a giant wall is between us, consisting of all the things we want to say to each other, but can't.

"You," I hesitate, he looks up at me, I can see the guilt in his eyes "how could you do that to me?"

He watches my face, as tears start to fill my eyes, but like usual with this man, he has a lot on his mind that he doesn't know how to express, he doesn't know how to talk, how to say what he wants to.

"I grieved you," I whisper and tears finally fall "and I grieved myself," he looks at me "that's how much I loved you, Ramses. The moment I found out you were dead, I considered myself dead in all forms except physical, and you thought you could come here. You thought you could knock at my door, say my name, and everything would go back to the way it was?"

"Paloma-" he says and I shake my head "please listen to me, just listen. They were going to kill you and I-"

"Who is they?" I say in frustration "you're the Pharaoh, there should be no one above you, and yet there always has been," I sigh and I see his eyes reddening, I've never seen him even close to crying before "you know you have this appearance as if you're not scared of anything. This big, tall, scar covered man, with those dark eyes, with a title that is one below being a God. But you live in fear."

I stand up, and so does he.

"You broke my heart." I whisper.

He puts his hand on my face, and looks down at me. His eyes are red and tired, he's aged since I last saw him, seen things I don't want to imagine. How much I wanted to see his face.

"Please forgive me." He says slowly, tiredly, like he's on the edge.

"How can I?"

"I'll do anything." He mutters.

"Just leave me alone."

"Paloma...please don't do that."

"Do what? You let me hope. You let me believe that you would come back, and marry me. And then you made me think that you died."

"I'm sorry."

"Just go"

He listens to me, he covers his face and leaves. And as soon as he shuts the door, I can't help myself, I fall into the ground and sob in pain and grief and betrayal.

There's another knock at the door. And I pick myself up and wipe my tears. I expect it to be Khepiri, back from her date so soon, but it's him.

He stands there in silence, breathing through the black material covering his face and looking at me worriedly.

He shuts the door behind him, and I back away as he walks towards me. Until my back is against the wall, and he standing close to me, so close that I can see a new scar across his eye.