BAD IDEA RIGHT? | c. hood

eleven.

3rd person pov

april 2019.

Calum felt sick to his stomach.

He had noticed Sulli pulling away for a couple of months, even heard her talking to the boys one day about how she wanted to go home. She wanted to leave him.

Had he done something wrong?

The boy angrily wiped his eyes, trying to get rid of evidence that he'd been crying when he walked into the room his band mates were in recording music. "I think i'm gonna end things with Sulli." His voice was quiet, but they'd all heard.

Michael, Luke, and Ashton all stood there, shocked.

The two had been dating for 4 years, everyone thought they'd be a forever type of thing. No one thought they'd be something that ended. The band looked at Calum and Sulli as their "relationship goals."

"Are you sure?" Michael was the first to speak.

Calum nodded, his hair was a bit unkempt today, he'd lost the drive to fix it. "Don't think she wants to be with me anymore."

Luke spoke next, "What about-" Calum cut him off.

"Doesn't matter anymore."

"Calum..." Ashton trailed off.

Calum's tears had returned, he didn't care anymore. He shook his head. "She doesn't want me." He said slowly.

His bandmates sighed in defeat. They knew that there was no changing Calum's mind at this point.

About a week or so later, Calum was sure. He'd heard Sulli again, this time telling the Sierra and Crystal rather confidently that she was planning on ending things with him.

And his heart broke again.

To be fair, he'd been rather cold to her since he'd approached his friends back at the studio.

They'd been out of touch for a month or so, neither able to communicate their feelings anymore. Typically, Calum would be quick to tell Sulli what was going on in his head, determined to make things right before it got out of hand. And vice versa. Nowadays, he couldn't pull himself to anymore and neither could she.

Calum stood outside of Sulli's apartment, he'd been hyping himself up to knock on her door for about 5 minutes now. He was going to do it.

He was going to end things.

So, he finally knocked.

Sulli opened the door seconds later, "Calum?" She was shocked to say the least, not expecting her boyfriend to be at her door seeing as they'd not been too close lately.

Her heart dropped as his solemn expression. Was this was she thought it was?

"Can we talk?" Calum asked, forcing himself to look into his girlfriend's eyes.

He could see the hesitation in her eyes. "Uh, yeah, come on in."

Calum followed Sulli over to her couch, one he'd sat on countless times before. He practically lived over here half the time. He always felt so at home with Sulli, it made sense, she'd been around for the majority of his life.

They sat down together and Calum let out a shaky breath, hands shaking just as much as he reached out to hold Sulli's hands. He didn't want to end things with her, but she wanted out. So, obviously, he was going to end things now before he continued to suffer.

"I think it's time we call it quits." he didn't want to make eye contact with her, but he did, out of respect for her.

Sullivan Fisher was everything to Calum Hood. He loved her with the entirety of his being.

She knew him better than anyone did, better than he knew himself. But, it seemed that lately, he didn't know her as much as he thought he did.

Sulli's eyes filled with tears. "Yeah?"

He cursed to himself, she wasn't even putting up a fight.

Part of him hated that Sulli wasn't fighting for their relationship. But another part realized that maybe their relationship had been over for a little while now — just not, officially.

"Yeah." He sighed, still holding tight to her hands, dropping his forehead to hers. "I'm sorry."

Sulli was quiet.

She didn't quite know what to say. Not only was Calum her boyfriend and love of her life, someone she wanted to grow old with, he was her best friend.

They'd been attached at the hip for longer than they could remember.

"Just don't leave me, ok?" she whimpered.

He knew what she meant.

Sulli was terrified to lose the boy as a friend. To be honest, he didn't know what he'd do without their friendship.

"Promise."

Without even thinking, Calum leaned in, connecting their lips. He couldn't say goodbye without feeling her lips on his once more. The way she made him feel.

Typically, a slow kiss like this one would always turn into something more, but this time it didn't. Instead, Calum pulled Sulli into him before laying down on the couch, holding her on top of him. They laid their together, bodies pressed together in silence, both with hot tears rolling down their cheeks.

Because they both knew.

They knew the moment they separated that things were going to change. They'd no longer be a couple. They'd no longer be Calum and Sulli.

Once they let go, they'd be Calum. And Sulli.

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my heart hurts