BAD IDEA RIGHT? | c. hood

seventeen.

Kinsley had made it a habit to come to my dressing room every night before I went on.

Sometimes, she'd help me with my makeup, and other times she'd just catch me up on her day. She'd been doing this for almost a week now and I've actually started to look forward to my Kinsley time before each show.

"Oh, hey, Babe." I heard Kinsley say behind me as she left, followed by the sounds of her kissing someone.

Well, fuck, that meant he was here.

I turned to see him as he walked over closer to me, stopping just to the left of the mirror I was using to get ready in. He casually leaned against the wall, landing in a pose he often did when we were together.

"May I help you?" I lifted an eyebrow, continuing with the finishing touches on my face.

He gestured to the door, "Why're you friends with Kinsley?"

That's what he came in here for? "Because she's a nice person..." I was confused as to why he was bothered by this.

"Are you trying to get back at me or something?"

Is he really that thick that he thinks everything I do is about him? Maybe the old Sulli would stoop that low, but not this Sulli. Not everything is about Mr. Calum Hood.

"I don't know what you're going on about." I sighed, spraying the most setting spray on my face that I could handle. I can't have this makeup going anywhere. "I'm friends with Kinny because she's a kind and a good person."

"Ok."

Of fucking course he doesn't believe me.

"Believe it or not, but I'm not friends with her to torture you." Now for the finishing touches for my hair. "Not everything is about you, ya know?"

I don't care if I was being harsh, he was being rude.

"What about all of your hookups?"

What the fuck? Why was he asking so many questions today? I'm pretty sure I didn't sign up to play 20 questions on a random Sunday in September.

"What about them?" More hairspray.

Kinsley had done this perfect hairstyle on me, complete with both braids and curls. The hairspray was just to make sure it lasted for the 30ish minutes that I was on stage. For some reason, I've made myself a track record of destroying well-done hairstyles for some reason.

"What's the point in all of them?" His arms were still crossed over his chest.

It honestly felt as though he'd written himself out a list of questions to ask me and was just going down the page. Who in their right mind would ask their ex these questions?

"Well," I stood up from my chair, done with being a level below him. My platform sneakers had brought me somewhat closer to his height. "The person I actually enjoyed hooking up with ghosted me and got a girlfriend... so, I kind of fell off the deep end for a while there. Oh, yeah, then my mom fucking died of cancer, I really spiraled then. So, I guess it kind of just became a way to fill the aching hole in my heart."

His face dropped and somehow I felt as though I had succeeded at something.

Maybe one day I'll hurt him bad enough that he'll start to get a grasp on the pain that he'd caused me?

"Sul-"

A knock at the door and the calling for me to go to stage was my saving grace tonight.

"Gotta go sing my heart out, Pretty Boy." I patted his shoulder, strutting past him.

He doesn't deserve to know that I could cry right now if I let myself.

Calum fucking Hood doesn't deserve to know that I still want him back.

So, I went on stage.

My first song went swimmingly. It was one of my upbeat ones and I always had the most fun performing those, it got my mind off of whatever was plaguing it.

In the middle of my next song, a slower song called 'Happier', I made the mistake of looking to the wings.

"Oh, I hope you're happy

But not like how you were with me."

My eyes immediately fell on Calum. Of course, he'd come to the wings to watch me.

It's not like I had literally just tried to rip his heart out and stomp on it.

"I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go

So find someone great, but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy, but don't be happier."

But when I looked to the other side, I saw Ashton and Kinsley smiling back at me, the girl sending me a thumbs up. How can it be that my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend can be supportive of me but he can't?

It just doesn't make sense.

Part of me will always did wish for Calum to be happy, regardless of how he makes me feel. Because the little girl in me from Sydney wanted for her best friend to be the happiest person in the world and never would settle for anything less.

•

literally so excited for the
next chapter !!!