𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 | 𝐤𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐦𝐢𝐧✰

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

One.
I'm an idol.

Two.
I'm not pregnant.

Three.
Fuck.

I turn the test, and as it turns out. There is indeed two lines there. Clear as fucking day.

I'm not pregnant. I refuse to believe that.

I start to panic as a few tears fall down my face. Before you know it I'm rushing to the kitchen grabbing another cup of water to down.

I take the second test. I wait anxiously for the results. I wasn't extremely religious but I had a religion. I didn't practice it absurdly but I still thought to it once in a while.

"God please help this go right for me. Please let this be in my favor."

As I am waiting for my results my mind can't help but wonder. If I was pregnant I would have to be on hiatus the moment I start to show. What will the public think? Do I lie? What will the boys think? What will Seungmin think? What if they hate me? I can't loose my family I can't. More tears fall out of my eyes as I stare at the first test.

I'm still young. I don't want this to ruin my career. It can't I have so much further to climb. Even worse then that. What if seungmin doesn't want it? And he leaves me? I can't loose him. I can't.

The ten minutes for the test results it's up. I only made my nerves worse in that short amount of time.

I prepare myself to flip.

One..
Please

Two..
Please

Three..
Fuck.

The two lines appear again. This time they are darker then the time before. More tears fall out of my eyes. I feel like screaming. But I have to be quiet.

I shove both tests into my pocket and take the boxes with me to hide any evidence. I grab my phone and step outside into the hallway shutting the door softly behind me.

After walking around I find a closet. It was a janitors closet but it was open.

I went inside and closed the door I kept the light off.

Fuck what do I do? I don't wanna get rid of it. If anything I would love a family with Seungmin but the timing is just so off. I'm an idol. This is not the greatest for my career. Not only that but the guys. I care about them to much to loose them. They'll blame me for being ignorant and not taking precautions. Seungmin? What if he doesn't want it. What will I do then? Move out? Tears are pouring out of me now. My eyes hurt and my chest hurts. It's all to much.
I opened my phone searching for someone to talk to. I knew I couldn't talk to anyone in Seoul. Is it wrong to talk to someone about this? I mean if I should be talking to anyone right now it's Seungmin. Should he be the first one to know? More tears fall as my breathing becomes more delayed at the thought of telling him. It's not right to talk about this outside of the relationship right? I can't even tell my members I don't wanna burden them with this, plus I don't know what they will think.

What do I do? I'm so lost. I'm scared for the first time in a while. I'm genuinely scared. I feel alone. I need to talk to someone about this. I don't know what to do.