Silver ||Joel Miller||

you are my kid, okay?

LAURA

"Hey, kiddo..." Laura walked into what Ellie had claimed as her bedroom to see her in new clothes. The clothes were nice, she would give Maria that. They looked warm and comfortable... "Are you holding up okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good," Ellie said as she picked up the menstrual cup Maria had left behind for the kid. "Did you get one of these too?" Ellie asked, clearly directing the conversation away from the potential topic of Joel for the moment. Laura couldn't argue against it.

"I already gave it back to Maria." Laura answered, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Right... did she ask why you don't need one?" Ellie asked next, and Laura shook her head.

"No, but you still want to know, don't you?"

"Not if you don't want to tell-"

"Sit." Laura patted the bed as she spoke, and Ellie did so while still playing with the menstrual cup. "Twenty-one and a bit years ago, when I was with Nolan, we decided we wanted to try for a kid. But him being the doctor he was, he thought it would be a good idea to get everything checked out before we started. Nolan was in perfect health, obviously. And I was very fucking lucky, because we found out I had ovarian cancer."

"How was that lucky?" That was a good question.

"Because it was found early, which meant I had a better chance at fighting it off. They gave me a few options. Chemotherapy was obviously one of those choices, but if I did that then it could come back because cancer has a fun way of screwing with you. My other option was surgery, and the best preventative surgery to avoid remission would be to remove the organ as well." Laura entwined her hands together.

"Nolan and I talked about it over the span of many late nights but we both came to the conclusion that it was best to do the surgery. And I decided to just get the whole lot removed, because for me it was either all or nothing, so I went with nothing."

"Shit..." Ellie trailed off.

"Yeah. So, I just don't have those parts anymore, which was hard to come to terms with. I'd always wanted kids, you know? So Nolan and I decided we would adopt, which we already started paperwork for, but then the fungus happened." Laura exhaled.

It didn't hurt to say that stuff anymore. It didn't hurt for her to say Nolan's name. And it really didn't hurt to say she'd always wanted kids. She might not have been able to adopt a child by regular means... but she had one now.

"I've been meaning to ask you..." Ellie trailed off. It was strange for the kid to not be confident in her words, so Laura turned to face her completely with her legs crossed.

"Yeah?"

"You won't leave me, will you?" Wow, Laura thought she'd made her standpoint clear on that front. Had she not done enough? Had she not told Ellie she wasn't going anywhere?

"Never. You're kind of stuck with me from this point forward, whether you like it or not." She replied with a soft smile.

"Do you promise?"

"Do I..." What was going on? "Of course I promise." Did Ellie just need a little reassurance? "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just... I know I've known you my whole life and you've always been there, even when you weren't supposed to. But these last few months, it's been different. Don't tell Joel, but I kind of see him like a dad... not as my dad but like a... I don't know." Fuck. Was this going where she thought it was going?

"You see him like a father figure, which makes sense because you haven't had one before." Laura helped her kid out, and Ellie nodded.

"Well, I see Joel as like a dad, but you... I overheard you say, back in Boston, that I'm not your kid but like..." Ellie trailed off again before she took a deep breath. Laura had forgotten she'd said that three months ago. "Look, last night I almost called you Mum." So that's what Mu-Laura had been.

"Okay..."

"I guess I just wanted to ask if you would be okay with that. Because I do see you as my mum, I have for a while I just..." Laura's eyes stung as Ellie stared at her hands which were still playing with that damned fucking cup. "And you know, mum is only one syllable whereas Laura is two and I-"

Laura cut Ellie off by pulling her into a hug, her kid's head tucked under her chin.

"You want to call me Mum?" Laura asked.

"Maybe not all the time, because it will take some getting used to since I haven't had one before, but... yeah." Ellie whispered, but she still didn't hug Laura back. Laura could change that.

"I know what I said back in Boston, and I'm sorry. Tess made a good point back then, which was if you watch over a kid for their whole life, it kind of does make them your kid. I was still in the heavy denial stage at that point, but the last few months have changed things for me too." Laura admitted, but it wasn't enough for her kid to hug her back yet. "You are my kid, okay? If anyone asks that's what I'll be telling them. When we get to the Fireflies I'll make sure they know that they have to take care of my daughter or I'll fuck them up."

Ellie's arms finally wrapped around Laura's torso. They stayed like that for a few minutes, with Laura's tears dropping onto Ellie's wet hair.

"What do we do if Joel doesn't come with us?" Ellie whispered. The time of avoiding Joel as a topic of conversation seemed to be over.

"We make it work." Laura answered as she pulled away from the hug. "We'll still have each other, and that will be enough, okay?"

"Okay, Mum." God, it felt strange to be called that, but it also warmed Laura at the same time. It felt right. "Now, what did you come in here for?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay with everything going on..." Laura trailed off as her eyes landed on the note Maria left for Ellie. It was just a well-written scribble to say she was across the road, but Laura still didn't enjoy seeing it.

"Well, can I ask another question then?" Ellie asked.

"Of course, kiddo."

"What are you going to do about Joel? Because I know you were awake this morning when we were talking about you." Oh fuck. That was something Laura didn't want to think about.

"I wasn't awake-"

"I saw you jump awake when Joel started talking. You heard the whole thing." Yes, Laura had heard the whole thing. She'd heard Joel ask the kid what he should be doing and heard Ellie protect her like her life depended on it. "Was what I said right? About what he should do?"

Don't bother trying if you're just going to leave.

You just need to decide what you want.

Laura took a deep breath as she thought over those words she shouldn't have heard. He'd sounded almost desperate...

We kissed in Haven. It was to keep the facade while we were there, it wasn't meant to mean anything but... it did.

"I thought you promised him you wouldn't talk to me about it." Laura whispered as her only avenue for avoiding the conversation.

"No, I promised I wouldn't tell you about it. But you heard it first hand, so I'm not breaking that promise." God, this kid was fucking crafty. If she'd known that Laura was awake during the entire conversation, then she had purposefully fucked Joel over. "So, was I right?"

Laura stood up from the bed and sighed. Of all the things this kid focused on...

"Yes, you were right," Laura said quickly. "Now, go over to Maria. I'm going to have a shower, so I'll meet you over there when I'm done, okay?"

"Do I have to?" Ellie asked, Laura smiled.

"What I say goes, and I'm telling you to go over there. So yes, you do have to," Laura said.

"You're letting the mum power go straight to your head, you know that right?"

"Yep, and I don't give a fuck. Now off you go."

"Yes, Mum."