Silver ||Joel Miller||

he felt peace

JOEL

The drive was quiet—to start with at least. Joel was sure that the same thing that kept happening to him was happening to Laura. Flashes of what they'd done in the hospital crossed his vision whenever he closed his eyelids. The memories of the gunshots and the smell of blood—of watching as Laura killed Marlene without a shred of mercy.

"What are we going to tell her?" Laura whispered, and Joel squeezed her thigh that his hand had been resting on for the past half-hour. "I can't lie to her, Joel."

"You don't need to," he whispered back. "I'll—"

He stopped speaking as Ellie groaned on the back seat. "What?" She murmured, likely still out of it because of the drugs.

"Hey, kid, you're alright. You're with us," Laura spoke gently, placing her hand on top of his as he kept it on her thigh. He couldn't break the contact, he needed to feel her next to him.

"Take it slow, the drugs are still wearing off," he added and Laura squeezed his hand.

"I was with the Fireflies and then..." Ellie sat up just slightly on the back seat. "What drսg?" He heard Laura's breath shake, and knew that this was when he'd have to start the lies. Maybe one day he and Laura would tell the kid the truth, but for now...

"They were running some tests on you... and some others." He felt Laura's hand tighten so hard on his that he lost feeling to his fingers. "Turns out there's a whole lot more like you... people that are immune. Dozens of them. And the doctors, they couldn't make any of it work. They've actually... They've stopped looking for a cure." He looked in the rear view mirror and saw Ellie's confusion, but he couldn't let it shake him.

This was what was best, telling her a false story. She wouldn't understand what he and Laura had to do. Knowing her heart, she might never understand.

"Where are my clothes?" Ellie asked. The question made Laura sniffle, and he checked on her to see her wiping her cheeks. Fuck.

"Raiders attacked the hospital. We barely got you out of there," he continued the lie. It was a straightforward one, easy to remember that didn't need much more detail. Ellie wouldn't question it, not when she trusted both him and Laura. "We'll find you some new ones on the way."

"Were people hurt?" Ellie asked. Now that was something he wouldn't need to lie about, it was more an omission of truth.

"Yes," he said quietly.

"Is Marlene okay?" Ellie asked, and Laura let go of Joel's hand to curl her hands in fists. Even though she broke the contact, he didn't take his hand away. Even if it wasn't helping to keep her grounded, it was helping him.

"I'm takin' us home." He deflected away from the answer, and Laura's golden face turned pale.

Ellie rolled over on the seat to face the back of the car. Fuck, she would never forgive them...

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He wasn't sure if it did any good.

***

"Well, this five hour hike is going quite a bit better than the first one we did," Joel said. He then turned to look back at Ellie and Laura who were just a few steps behind him.

"How so?" Ellie asked. Laura was still pale from the aftermath of what they'd done, even after the drive and the near five hours they'd been walking for. The car had broken down, so close and yet so far from Jackson. It was a good thing, being able to walk before they got back. It gave him time to think and breathe, and for the other two to do the same.