Silver ||Joel Miller||

Ellie didn't know how to fix it

ELLIE

"I can find us some food while you stay here with Joel."

"No, Ellie, I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"You're going to have to. He needs food, and so do you. You haven't eaten since we got here."

Ellie wasn't sure of much anymore, but she'd never doubted Laura and Joel. From the second she realised there was history between the two until Jackson, she always knew they would end up together again. What she hadn't expected was the ferocity of their feelings for each other, and the protectiveness they both had for her.

It was something she hadn't imagined could be a negative. That fierceness could never be a detriment.

But Ellie had realised the potential downside to it over the last couple of days.

Laura had blamed herself for what happened to Joel. It was likely to do with the fact that her perfectionism overruled any logic. But because Laura blamed herself, and Joel seemed to be getting worse with every passing moment, it meant that Laura was getting worse too.

It had started with Laura being near silent as they looked for a safe place to hide Joel. And then there had been the ungodly scream her mother had let out once they'd stitched Joel up and stopped the bleeding. Ellie had thought that would be the worst of it, but for the rest of the first day Laura had been catatonic. Not that she was much better now, but she was responsive, and aware of her surroundings. For two days Laura had been stuck at Joel's side, only drinking water when Ellie forced the bottle into her hands.

Ellie understood, because she wasn't doing much better. Every second she was awake her body was tense, as if waiting for the news that Joel had stopped breathing. Every moment she was asleep she dreamt that the injury had finally taken it's toll and ripped the one father figure she'd ever had away from her.

How the fuck was she meant to officiate Laura and Joel's wedding if he fucking died?

She knew Laura was suffering more than she was because of their history, because of what happened in Jackson. They told each other that they loved each other. It had been seven years of limbo for both of them, half of Ellie's life, and that perdition had finally come to an end. The three of them were meant to be a happy family now. That was the plan. Instead, Joel could fucking die and there wasn't anything she could do to change it.

There wasn't anything she could do to convince Laura that it wasn't her fault either.

While in her catatonic state she had mumbled words over and over while holding Joel's hand so tight her fingers had gone white.

Twenty-six years.

I fucking missed.

All my fault.

Twenty-six years.

Ellie had thought Laura's knowledge over how long it had been since she'd missed a shot was just some fun trivia. Now she knew better. It wasn't Laura having a good rebuttal to someone asking why she used a bow and arrow. It wasn't just a statistic. It was her perfectionism. It was a part of the identity that Laura had made for herself.

And now her self-perception had shattered along with the streak.

Ellie didn't know how to fix it. She didn't know what she could say to make Laura feel better. All she knew was that Laura was going to avoid picking up that bow moving forward, and that meant Ellie was going to have to pick up the slack... at least until Joel recovered. He would know what to do. He would know what to say to help Laura. All Ellie could do for now was make sure they all stayed alive.