GenderSwitchs Vol. 5 (English)

Chapter 7: Reasons to love

"Ugly."

"You're really ugly."

Strange voices in my head began to echo, as vague memories manifested in my mind. Shortly after those voices spoke to me, I opened my eyes, and realized that I was no longer in my room.

No, it wasn't even my house. It was my old school, a place where I spent quite a bit of time being with two girls, whose names I now don't remember, nor their faces. In that mental image of them, their faces looked like they were crossed out by a big X. All I could remember about them was that they had transferred schools starting in the third year, year which I spent mostly on my own. They probably moved somewhere else, and so they had to leave, which didn't bother me, though I was a little sad about it.

That's the way it was supposed to be that year, lonely. However, a group of girls from my class approached me at that time, with the excuse that I was pretty, and that they wanted to be my friends because of it.

I had been long since begun to have a complex about my appearance, stemming from something that happened in elementary school. To make it simple, we had done a theatre play about Snow White, and I had been cast as the ugly, evil witch. The problem wasn't that I had played that character, but the way I had my make up, which was downright hideous, and it scared everyone, calling me "a horrible monster". I don't think I had been able to participate in anything else as an actress since then.

After that "incident" with my appearance, along with the fact that my stepmother by then was in my father's life, you could say that she discouraged me for not being "pretty," as other girls should, even though it was what I wanted.

"You don't need that kind of thing." She said to me as nonchalantly and cold as an iceberg. It was so cutting that it even managed to hurt my feelings.

So, thanks to that combination of things, I simply stopped trying to be cute.

I had to wear glasses, and combining that with my two ponytails hairstyle behind my neck, along with my strange hunched position of my back, and trying not to stand out at all, resulted in someone unattractive.

I had no idea why those girls said I was cute; however, I knew they could be lying, pretending to say the truth.

I began to hang out with them, as I had slowly begun to regain some confidence in myself, in my appearance, and especially, the way others saw me. I used to be quite playful, but now I turned out to be somewhat colder. Although, of course, that "cold" side of me was starting to be left behind, and I was starting to feel a little better about myself.

But then, that day came.

I was arriving to my class, as usual, and I ran into that group of "friends" I had back then. But strangely and surprisingly, they asked me for a favor; to go buy them drinks.

I wanted to return the favor by including me in their group, so I accepted without any complaints, and went to buy the drinks at the nearest vending machine. Once I got them, I went happily towards my class, until....

"Really, do you really believe everything she says?"

"Of course not! That poor girl serves as nothing more than our personal pet, hahaha!"

Huh? Who are they talking about?

I thought at the time, as I hid my presence outside the classroom, hiding behind the door.

"Being completely honest, she's a pain in the ass. She always wants to show that perky attitude with everyone, but we know her problems at home made her a jerk."