GenderSwitchs Vol. 5 (English)

Interlude 6

The atmosphere was cold, just like the coldest place in the world, or maybe it were the feelings that surrounded me. I couldn't be sure what it was really about. I only knew that, by this time, I was lying on my back on the floor, looking up at the sky, and thinking about home, which I was starting to miss.

Even thinking about it, all I could do right now was regret the stupid things that had led me to be where I was. However, even that being the case, I knew that at some point I would be able to be reunited once again with those people. Yes, those people who brought me here.

After a long time of pondering the matter, I simply couldn't come to a conclusion. I even wondered what was wrong with me at that time, after several sessions of talks with a specialist, or with people with similar experiences. However, I really hated those, as they not only made me see the rottenest part of other people minds, but also made me see my own inner rottenness.

It was so unpleasant to think about it that I tried to look for places to rest, so that I could relax my mind for a while, and not make myself think about those horrible things, even if only for a while.

On the other hand, if I had to say one good thing about this place, it was that person who somehow was always around to cheer me up, encourage me, or just chat for a couple of minutes a day. That person, who somehow became the only one I could get to see with "good eyes" would soon be leaving this place, which depressed me. They were the little non-hostile company I could have, and it was sad to think that they would be leaving soon.

"... By the way... Isn't today Valentine's Day...? Ah, never mind... It really doesn't matter in here. But you can tell that many don't care about doing it in such a place. They keep celebrating it anyways..."

I, who somehow could never quite wrap my head around that "special" date after reflecting on so many things when I got here, was made to look at it in a very strange way.

I essentially knew what the day was about, and somehow, I was excited to celebrate it. But that was all in the past now. All I cared about now was finding, in a way, peace on my mind, and some calm on the rooftop where I was.

Turning to the side, I closed my eyes, and tried to forget about it, until I felt something warm approaching my cheek. It was like a metallic surface; a can.

"What the f...!"

"Ah, so you hadn't fallen asleep."

That person holding the can, was exactly the person I had recently been thinking about, and the one I somehow wanted to see, but at the same time didn't want to.

"...What are you doing here?" I replied dryly as I looked at him with some anger, as he interrupted my peace.

"I saw that you were alone up here, and well, I wanted to bring you something to warm you up. Here, coffee."

"... I don't like coffee too much."

"This one is sweet, they recently added them to the vending machines in here."

"... And why did you bring me this?"

"Hm?"

"What's with that face?"

That person was looking at me with a surprised face, which was combined with his half-dead eyes, because just like me, he didn't seem to enjoy the heavy atmosphere found in the place much on a daily basis. However, that person sitting next to me, and who brought me a hot drink, always tried to stay positive despite everything bad about this place.

"Nothing, I just thought sharing a drink with you would be fun and relaxing."

"Really that's your whole motive?"

"... Today is Valentine's Day, right?"

"Hey, don't change the subject..."

"Well, in that case, I'll just tell you to consider that drink as my Valentine's Day gift."

"Huh?"

"Ah, don't get me wrong. It's just a friendly gift. Of friendship, basically."

"... Seriously, I don't know what the hell is going through your head..." I said as I opened the can, and took a sip of the hot, sweet coffee he had brought me, which had milk, sugar, and a taste akin to chocolate and vanilla combined.

"Well?"

"Hm?"

"Is it delicious?"

"...Well, not bad." I said as I looked away, trying to avoid eye contact with this mysterious person.

"Although in a way it feels strange to celebrate this date in here, doesn't it?" He said as he laughed awkwardly and looked up at the sky with his empty eyes, which seemed hopeless, but at the same time seemed to yearn for something.

"Is not like we had another option, right?"

"Good point, hahaha."

"Anyway, we'd better not take too long, or we might get scolded for being here so long."

"Right. Though I don't understand how they don't scold the couples down there; despite being here, some of them are confessing without fear."

"I guess they lost their fear after coming to this place, and are just being themselves. Human nature is weird..."

"Look who's talking."

"Shut up."

"Okay." Said that person while letting out a playful laugh.

When was the first time I got together with this person? No, rather, why did I start hanging out with this person, who I might never see again?

I really didn't know, but somehow it made my mind ease easily.

While secretly enjoying my hot drink, I spent what was left of that time with this person, with whom I chatted until it was time to go back to our "supplementary classes".

Although, going down to those classes, and still seeing couples strolling the halls, whether it was a boy and a girl, two boys or two girls, only left me wondering:

Will I ever be able to feel those kinds of feelings? What's more, will I even be able to find something like that in such a gray environment?

Looking at the bluish winter sky, which covered that cold and gray place, I managed to fill the surroundings with color, even if it was just a little.

With that doubt in mind, I resigned myself to think about it later, and finished enjoying that hot drink, that someone close to me had given me as a "Valentine's gift", and returning to that grayish environment, but with some warmth in my heart, and some tranquility in my mind.