Kel's Home for Mentally Deranged Boys

5

I woke up and checked my phone, it was 3:05am.
I sat up and saw Amir sitting on his bed flipping through channels.

Does he not sleep..?

"Hey.." I mumbled out, he turned his head and smiled "Hey was I too loud?"
I shook my head no, " I didn't wake up because of any noise I don't have good sleep habits so I wake up during the night a lot.. that's all." I rubbed my arm awkwardly thinking about all the terrors that took place at night at my old placements.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
My head snapped up at his question.

How did he know..?  Was it that obvious ..

"You don't have too.. I can just tell something happened." His voice brought me back to the present.
"No... it's fine.. I've just never uh. Opened up before." I admitted.

That was the truth. I kept a lot... more like all of what happened in my old placements to myself. I knew I was a problem child, and I felt like I deserved a lot of what happened to me so I never said a word.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, "uh.." I started off and quickly shut my mouth. I had no idea where to start.
"I can go first if you want? We can have a trauma dump ahaha" he giggled out, I couldn't help but smile because as toxic as it was it didn't sound like a bad idea.
"Yeah sure.."
"Mkay" , I watched as he stood up and reached up to turn the light over his bed on when my mouth fell open.

.. he wears panties..? And why is his ass so red... there's no way the smack from earlier did that..

I quickly closed my mouth as he turned around and plopped back down on the bed.

"Okay well. I'll start." He started off, I watched as he checked his phone, sent a few texts, and hooked it up to the charger.

Of course he had the newest iPhone.

"I got here when I was 13, um im 18 now. Well I just turned 18. November 4th. My mom and dad used to abuse me and do inappropriate sexual things to me and my older brother, Parker. And the state took us, after a lot of court dates and doctors appointments we got sent here and we've been here ever since so yeah" he sort of smiled as he brought his knees to his chest.
"We were the first ones here, in the home and Blaylen helped us work through a lot of things.. I still have some issues but with my meds and therapy sessions I'm getting better"
He didn't smile this time, instead he tugged on his hoodie, then it dawned on me. The shirt he was wearing earlier was long sleeved too.

Parker is his older brother huh.. makes sense.. and .. his jacket ? Did he .. self harm too..? 

I self consciously rubbed my arm and nodded, "I got placed in the system cause my older brother killed our mom. She was pimping him out and some more stuff. I'm not really sure about the details on that I was like 3 when it happened. But they separated all of us and foster care was a nightmare. I got touched and a whole lot more stuff . I started self harming and never had the opportunity to get therapy. I just danced my pain away." I shrugged at the end of my statement.

That was the simple version.

I glanced up and made eye contact with Amir, my eyes followed him as he stood up and walked towards me, he sat on the floor in front of me and crossed his legs.

"Let me see them.." he said quietly.
I felt myself get chills at the drop in his voice, it was almost as if a different side of him had come out.

I stood up, and rolled my boxers up so he could see my thighs, I winced as he ran his thumb over my scars, some healing, some fresh, some deep, some scratch like.
He reached over and rolled the other side up, I closed my eyes out of fear of being judged. I'd never told, let alone shown anyone my cuts.
I gasped as I felt his lips make contact with my thigh, he slid his hands up to my waist and gripped slightly holding me in place, he pulled away and gave my thighs a few more kisses. Without letting my hips go he stood up. For the first time I realized how much taller than me he was.
I felt myself get hot, I couldn't tell if it was from his touch, our height difference or the shift in his demeanor.
"Anytime you feel like doing this to yourself.. come find me ok? You're too beautiful to hurt yourself. You deserve better. If you can't see that on your own then I'll give you better until your ready to believe me. But ... promise me.. anytime you feel like this, you'll find me okay?"
I felt my eyes fill with tears, I tried to turn away out of embarrassment. When he caught me.

That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me..

I felt him pull me to him and wrap his arms around me, without thinking twice I wrapped my arms around his neck letting him grip me tighter.

He feels.. so safe. He feels.. like home..

"It's okay.. you're here now. And we're not gonna give up on you or get rid of you. It's okay to cry.. I know it's alot and I know it's hard I just want you to know you're not alone anymore" he said softly.

I tightened my embrace around him, I couldn't get close enough to him. I didn't want this feeling to end.

"You don't have to let go, if you want we can sleep now."
I nodded at his suggestion and let him lead us to his bed, I let go of him so he could pull the covers back, he laid in the bed first and held the comforter up for me. I climbed in beside him and laid on his chest, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and relaxed into him as he pulled the cover up over us and wrapped his arms around me.
"Sleep love.. you're safe now.. I promise"
I smiled softly to myself as my eyes closed on their own, before I knew it I was asleep in no time.

No wondering thoughts, no nightmares, no fear, just sleep.