Love Has No Color

T H I R T Y - S E V E N

Violet's POV

I never expected to feel so nervous coming back to school for a new semester. It very much felt like the very first day of college all over again except the year advanced into 2019. Coming back to a new dorm and unpacking came like second nature as I was finished within an hour. I made sure to get my necessities prepared weeks before coming back. I did want to change up my living accommodation to an apartment near campus so that I could actually experience adulting, but my parents felt like I was still "too young" to live somewhere on my own. They told me that I could wait until I was at least in my third year of college. By that point I'm sure the idea wouldn't be as appealing anymore.

After getting everything situated in my dorm, I checked the room next to me to see an empty bed. The time had past for check in and my roommate still wasn't here. I silently hoped that she'd get here especially since class would be starting in a few days. Weird, I thought. I hoped she was okay.

"You think you'll be okay, Violet?" My mom asked. I nodded, sliding a storage bin underneath my bed.

"I'll be good, mom." I replied. As always, I received a hug and kiss from both parents before they walked out the dorm and away from the school. I let out a breath, relieved that they were starting to loosen up on me. They should trust me by now.

I took time to stock up the fridge with some food. It wouldn't be a fully stocked fridge for a family but it'd make things convenient if I didn't feel like going to the dining hall for food. Though the dorm was the same style as the one I stayed in last semester, I still wanted to make this temporary space comfortable. After organizing the fridge, I took a break. I walked over to the couch in the living area and sat on it, taking out my phone. I wasn't doing anything in particular but I was looking through my phone to see what I could click on. So many apps yet so little options. I decided on social media and mindlessly scrolled through it, looking for nothing in particular.

Before I knew it, an hour had passed. My roommate still hadn't shown up and the dorm room was so quiet, the sound of a pin drop could be heard. As I listened to the loudness of the silence, I felt chills throughout my body. I pulled on my hoodie even more, trying to get as much warmth as possible. I looked to my right out the window, seeing the grey sky and bare trees stiffly planted in their spots. The roller shades were halfway up and provided great privacy from those creepy enough to watch. As I got up to pull them all the way down, a knock came at the door. Oh! My roommate must be here, I thought.

Hopping off of the couch, I practically skipped to the door. When I opened it, I was met with a pair of light green eyes and a warm smile. My heart jumped out of my chest as I awkwardly stood eight inches under Alex.

"Oh...hello." I greeted. Alex happily stood with his hands behind his back. I saw a tag on his shirt that read "Resident Assistant". It was pinned to his athletic shirt in the top left corner of his chest. I wasn't sure if it was because of the way he was standing, but his biceps bulged out more than usual. Either way, he always had a nicely put together body. Remembering the kiss that seemed to be ages ago yet still fresh, I tensed up. I definitely didn't need to give him the wrong idea as I'd been telling myself multiple times.

"Hi, Violet. How are you?" Alex replied, his eyes looking down at my lips. I pursed them, making him look back into my eyes again.

"I'm alright and yourself?" I asked, stepping to the side and letting him in. I felt the tension building around us as we stood in our little bubble. Alex hesitantly walked inside, glancing around the place and turned back to me. I broke eye contact with him, feeling a surge of guilt rise up in my body. I internally wished that I could just turn off my feelings for him and erase the kiss from existence. It was difficult to stand in front of him with all my insecurities knowing that we couldn't turn back time. I bet he kissed me to see what it would feel like to kiss a black girl. Maybe the awkwardness was him being too afraid to admit what he was really after. I softly gasped, shocked at the thought process that just went through my head. I was appalled at the way I looked at things and if Alex heard me now, best believe he'd run out that door.