30. Attila's lament

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TUESDAY
October 23, 2040
6:12 PM

Attila Farkas is in a bad mood.

His head hurts, the tingling numbness in his right leg is causing him discomfort, and he just wants the nagging flickering static in his left eye to go away.

The windows that stretched the length of the walls in his bedroom are shimmering with the lights from the city below, but the beauty of it is lost on him.

He sits on the edge of his bed, staring at his unchanging surroundings and trying to convince himself that it's his choice to sit here, when the truth is he is incapable of doing much else.

He is weak. Even more so than usual, and just the thought of getting up and hobbling his way across the room to relieve his bladder, is more than he can bear right now.

Attila feels a knot growing, but it's not tension or worry that's tightening his chest. It's the feeling of being vulnerable, of being unable to protect himself or his body from the whims of fate.

He doesn't know how to deal with this feeling of dependence, a feeling so far outside of his comfort zone.

Attila is frustrated, with himself and his body. Ever since the day he was born, the world seemed to be constantly trying to get rid of him.

As if someone like him was a mistake to begin with. One that needed to be corrected.

And it is true that he is an anomaly.

He is a unique breed of man. Not quite machine yet not completely human, and he's tired of the constant battle to survive.

He can feel the effects of the past few days weighing on his body and he can't shake the feeling that he's slowly dying.

His implant is falling apart piece by piece, day by day, and he doesn't know how much longer he will last.

A knock at the door precedes Mia's entrance, a charming smile on her face and a tray in her hands.

"Oh, good, you're awake," She greets him, her smile brightening, pitch a few decibels higher than normal, "I made chicken parm and a nice Caesar salad. Dessert will be ready in another twenty minutes, if you don't mind the wait."

Even Mia's gestures of care grate on Attila as he finds her attempts at cheering him up with food, a complete nuisance.

He loathes the tone she adopts, speaking as if he were still a fragile, seizure-ridden child. Her eyes hold an unwelcome mix of sympathy and pity which he also despises.

"Eat up," She coos, placing the tray on the bedside table, "You'll need the energy to help with your recovery."

His tone is curt, a veneer of disinterest masking his anger, "I am not hungry."

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