Summer break is not a break for everyone

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"There was no goodbye, just an absence, sudden, abrupt, and louder than any voice could be" -Edward Lee
JENS P.O.V I wake to the front door slamming followed by the screeching of my mother's car peeling out of the driveway. I don't usually leave my window open, I must have last night, or I would not have heard anything. I wish I closed my window. I pull my blanket over my head to mentally prepare for the chaos. Then it begins. The front door slams shut. I hear angry cursing from the living room. Then, the startling sound of a glass shattering against a wall downstairs. Eventually, heavy footsteps headed towards my room. My doorknob jiggles side to side. I lock it almost every night.   "You better open this goddamn door, Jen, or I swear to god I'll tear the hinges off, and you won't have one!" My dad yells, continuing his attempt to open my locked door.             I squeeze my eyes shut for a few seconds, hoping that will make him disappear, but it doesn't. I throw my blanket to the side as I stumble out of bed to my door. I grab the doorknob, and it stops moving. "Open the door, Jen. I know you are up." He instructed in a calmer tone.  It has always startled me how easy it is for my father to go from anger to calm so quickly. I unlock the door reluctantly. He turns the knob; I back away as he swings open the door.  "Your mom's throwing another one of her bitch fits, and she took the car, so you are walking to school. Don't fucking look at me like that; it's not my fault your mom's insane; I guess it is my fault I married a wack job of a woman, but start getting ready, or your going to be late." He fumed, turned around, and headed back to the living room. My mom's not insane or a wack job. My dad just fucked her up enough that it appears that way. She never used to be this unstable. My mom has told me stories of the start of their marriage. Mostly, it sounded like something you would read in romance novels; a few years after I was born, The light overturned into something dark inside my father. He became unrecognizable from the man my mom initially married, according to her. Over the years, it just got worse and worse. I didn't start noticing it until I was about nine. That was when the first "accident" happened. I don't remember what made him angry, but I remember what he did and every word he said. He had grabbed a knife from the kitchen and backed my mother up against a wall and in a frightful unrecognizable tone yelled at her. "If you ever speak to me like that again,  I will murder you in front of our child, and she will live with that memory the rest of her life because you chose to disrespect me."                                                 He may not have killed my mom that night, but the memory is still with me, as if it happened yesterday and a small terrified part of me believes he could be capable of doing exactly that one day.
I take my phone off the charger, find Hannah in my contacts, press call, a few rings, and she answers.     "Hey, what's up, Jen?" Hannah cheerily responds.     "My mom took the car this morning; I was going to see if you could give me a ride to school?" I ask.  "Of course, I just left the house. I can be there in ten." She happily accepts.  I hang up the phone and slide it into my backpack. Hannah and I have been friends since elementary. She is my ride-or-die. She is the only one who knows about my fucked up family dynamic, but only the information I feel comfortable sharing without her getting too concerned.
Cody and Chris, the other two that complete our trio, are oblivious. I made Hannah swear a while back that she wouldn't say anything. I don't want people to know or worry. Hannah has given me a multitude of lectures on how I should share it with them because it is "essential" to have a support system; for me, the less people know, the better. I'm honestly entirely used to the routine by now. Mom does something to piss dad off. Dad gets mad and yells a slur of hurtful words and, on occasion, gets physical. My mom leaves for a while to cool off, returning like nothing happened. Then there will be a couple of days that simulate a functioning family, and it starts all over again. Rinse and repeat.
I heard Hannah's car pull into the driveway. I head for the front door, trying to avoid the broken glass that littered the floor. I hate that he throws shit. For some reason, it always has to be glass. I open the door quietly and quickly slip out to avoid another confrontation with my father. As I walked up to Hannah's passenger side door, I could tell she was excited. Today is the last day of Junior year. She has not been able to shut up about it for weeks. I swear she has years' worth of spreadsheets and itineraries consisting of her plans for this summer that she wants me, Cody, and Chris to accompany her in. The minute I slip into her car, she speaks extremely fast and excitable. I am not too excited for summer, but I intently listen because I know how important this is to her. We pull into the school parking lot, and Hannah parks next to Cody's car, per usual. We glance over, and Chris and Cody are fighting over the music on the radio. Every ten seconds, the music changes in their car. Me and Hannah couldn't help but burst out in laughter at their ridiculousness. Cody noticed us and immediately started laughing as well. We all got out of our vehicles and huddled together.      "Summer break, hell yeah!" Chris exclaims. "You guys, I have many exciting plans and activities for us," Hannah announces giddily. "We know, you've only gone over it with us like over fifty times since December." Chris teases. "I don't know, guys; I plan on taking it easy this summer. I'll join in for some of the plans, but most likely not all of them." I admit. "What? You can't do this to me, Jen. We all have to be in this together." Hannah whines. "Yeah, I agree with Hannah. I think you would have a better time spending more time outside of the house." Cody chips in. I tense up. Does Cody Know? Did Hannah tell him? CODY'S P.O.V Hannah glares at me while mouthing, "What the fuck?" Hannah told me a couple of months ago about Jen's family situation. She told me Jen didn't want anyone to know, so I kept it a secret. I'm disappointed that Jen doesn't feel like she can confide in me, but on the other hand, I understand. Jen looked at me questionably as I made that statement. I wish I didn't say it like that, so I try to backtrack. "I mean, it's good to be outside in the summer to get some vitamin C and hang out with us; it would be incomplete without your company, Jen," I say quickly. She lets out a sigh of relief. I'm glad I dodged that one, Hannah would have lost her shit on me. I worry about Jen constantly. Some days, she's outgoing and happy, while on others, she doesn't seem like she's all there. The bell rings, notifying us to get to class. We say our goodbyes and head to our classes. JENS P.O.V The school day whizzes by, and before I know it, I'm walking out the front of the building, joining Hannah and the boys. "Let summer break commence!" Chris yells as he throws all his school papers in the air. "Was that necessary, Chris? Now you gotta pick them up." Hannah rolls her eyes. We watch as he runs around, trying to grab all his papers as the wind attempts to blow them away. It's quite entertaining. "I have to take Jen home, but tomorrow our plans begin; we're going to walk around the college campus Garden and see who can find the prettiest flower." Hannah exclaims, barely holding back her excitement. "Searching for flowers is really on your to-do list as a fun adventure? Your idea of fun is fucking weird, Hannah." Chris responds while catching his breath from running around gathering his schoolwork. "Get over it, and we're going; you guys better be ready tomorrow." Hannah demands as we get into her car. "Flower searching doesn't sound terrible. It sounds relaxing I was worried your first plan would be climbing Mount Everest or some shit." I joke. "One day Jen, One day." She responds giving me an ambitous smile. She drops me off and we say our goodbyes. I head into the house to see my dad passed out in his recliner with fox news playing on the Tv. No sign of my mother. I shake him awake. "What the fuck do you want Jen?" He grummbles. "Has mom come home yet?" I ask concerned. "Nope, I dont care anyway let that bitch run away if she wants to, now leave me alone go to your room and listen to music and stuff or whatever the fuck you kids do now days." He responds unfazed drifting back to sleep. Its normal for my mom to leave for a couple hours or so but not the whole day. I increasingly worry as the clock hits 1:15 am and still no car in the drive way. I lay awake in my bed waiting to here the sound of her car pulling into the driveway. I did leave my window open tonight. I must have drifted off, I wake to red and blue lights flashing through my window then a heavy knock at the front door. I jump out of bed and sprint to the living room, flinging open the front door. Before the officer had a chance to speak I already had a feeling it had something to do with my mom. "What happened? Is she okay?" I frantically ask the officer in front of me. "Were is your father?" The officer responds ignoring my qeustion. "He's passed out." I reply. "May I come in, I need to talk to your father." the officer didnt even wait for a response he slips passed me and heads towards my dad passed out on his recliner. the officer shakes him a couple times while repeating, Sir im officer Daniel I need to speak with you its urgent. After a couple tries my dad finally stirs. "The, fuck is going on why is there police in my god damn house!" My dad exclaims sitting up from his recliner. "Sir please calm down I need to speak to you in private." He whispers giving me a remorseful glance. My dad complies, they go into the kitchen talking in hushed conversation. I stand in the living room like a statue I can't even move. After what feels like a life time my father and the officer walk out of the kitchen. The officer heads towards the door then stops in front of me and places his hand on my shoulder. "Im sorry for your loss kid." Then he walks out the front door closing it behind him.

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