Darkness Within

Recovery

Adriana POV:

The following days after the accident, Tom had never left my side. Not once. I would still have nightmares. During these days, I would often be pretty unresponsive, staring at nothing while my head still moved a hundred miles per hour. It takes a while for that shit to fully digest right?

In an odd way, I enjoyed those days. Where Tom was at my aid, it was a new, attentive and reassuring side to him I hadn't seen before hand. It was nice. Until I remembered why he was acting so lovely in the first place.

He was also in the best mood, I never asked him why he wasn't there when I eventually woke up after the incident. But I always suspected that he had perhaps killed those men...

Even after all those men had put me through, I really don't have a revengeful or hating bone in my body. I wasn't angry at them- I felt sympathy for them. I actually wanted answers from them.

Why me?

Why that night?

What had led to them in making that decision that night?

After they 'finished' what were they going to do? Silence me forever? Or just leave me there in the ally, humiliated and broken?

But overall, I didn't pry. I didn't vocally accuse Tom of murder, I didn't lecture him. I didn't do anything.

A sick part of me, was actually content with his decision, only as I decided that the muggle women and girls of London would be that little bit safer now they were gone.

Does that make me evil? Does that make me a horrible person?

Maybe Tom and I aren't so different after all...

Abraxas was also round much more often, I suspected this was with Tom's permission. All of his followers stayed in my house, since my parents had left. I wouldn't see them until sometime after I returned to Hogwarts for our final year. But that suited me just fine.

The others had restrictions. Tom had made that very clear.

They were to NEVER come into my bedroom under ANY circumstances, other than Brax- with my blessing.

They were to NEVER to disturb me in ANY way other than Brax.

They were to NEVER talk to me about what happened to me that night other than Brax.

They were to NEVER to be alone with me other than Brax, should we be in the same room. Either Tom or Brax had to accompany us.

I couldn't quite shake the idea that the first time- my first time could have been with those horrid men. I never in a million years wanted that for me. I always imagined it being with someone I loved, someone I had an unbreakable, deep connection to.

That would be Tom.

You'd think that I'd have been put off of anything like that, since my ordeal. But actually, I wanted nothing more than to have sex with Tom. I wanted to experience it in the best way possible, to not be plagued by bad memories, of fear.

You probably think I'm crazy.

And you're probably right.