ephemeral [ Conrad Fisher ]

18

Conrad

The music eased the loudness of the chatter surrounding us as I stood at one end of the makeshift beer pong table. The solo cups were lined up, awaiting their fate, while a rowdy crowd surrounded us, cheering and jeering with every toss. It was just another summer party at Nicole's house. And yet, I couldn't shake the restless feeling that had settled in my chest.

"Man, you're not even paying attention," Jeremiah chided as he sank a ping pong ball into one of the cups on the other side of the table.

I tore my gaze away from Lennox, who was engaged in an animated conversation with Shayla and Nicole, and refocused on the game. "I'm paying attention."

Noel chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. "Sure looks like it, bro."

Steven, grinned mischievously. "Come on, Conrad, it's painfully obvious."

I shot him a glare. "Obvious? What are you talking about?"

Jeremiah leaned in closer, lowering his voice. "He's talking about you and Lennox, man. It's like you're the only two people at the party."

I felt my cheeks grow warm, and I took a long swig of my beer to hide my embarrassment. "You guys are imagining things."

Noel raised an eyebrow. "Imagining things? Dude, it's written all over your face. You can't take your eyes off her."

I tried to play it off, feigning indifference. "I don't know what you're talking about. We're just friends."

Jeremiah shook his head, a knowing look in his eyes. "Conrad, you've been 'just friends' with Lennox for years. Don't you think it's time to make a move before someone else does?"

I didn't want to acknowledge the truth in his words. Jeremiah had always been the more perceptive of the two of us when it came to matters of the heart. But with Lennox, it was different. She was my best friend, someone I'd known since we were kids. I couldn't risk ruining our friendship by making things awkward, especially after she told me today that she didn't want us to drift apart.

"Look, guys," I said, trying to steer the conversation away from me, "let's just focus on the game."

We played a few more rounds of beer pong, but my mind kept drifting back to Lennox.

Steven leaned over to me, his voice low. "You know, if you don't make a move, someone else will. I can practically see the sparks between you two."

I shot him a frustrated look. "Steven, drop it. We're just friends."

But even as I said the words, I couldn't ignore the truth. There was something more between Lennox and me, something that had changed long ago. I just didn't know how to confront it without putting everything at risk.

I couldn't take my eyes off Lennox, even as the game of beer pong continued. It was frustrating how her presence seemed to pull me in like a magnet and I couldnt stop replaying Jeremiahs words in my mind. She was laughing with Shayla, Nicole, and Gigi, and I couldn't help but smile at the sight of her having a good time. I thought watching her from afar for just tonight would be okay, that tomorrow I could let her know that I had meant to kiss her, that I wished I could kiss her again, that she was all that had been consuming my mind. But as Liam apparoached her I didnt think I could wait.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from the sight of Liam flirting shamelessly with Lennox. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion, and I couldn't look away no matter how much I wanted to. I watched as he leaned in closer to Lennox, his body language oozing confidence. The way he smiled at her, the way he touched her arm—it was all too much.