ephemeral [ Conrad Fisher ]

41

Conrad

SHE was pissed. She was standing in front of me, looking up at me in a way she had never looked at me before. Her face was pinched and her eyes were filled with nothing but hate. "What's wrong?" I asked, trying to keep my tone calm and reassuring, though my heart was racing. I could feel the weight of her frustration pressing down on me. "Why are you so upset?"

Lennox didn't answer immediately. She crossed her arms over her chest, her gaze never leaving mine. I could see the hurt and frustration in her eyes, and it pained me to think I was the cause of it.

"Really, Conrad? You have to ask?" she said, her voice laced with bitterness. Her eyes flickered with a mix of hurt and anger, and I felt a pang of guilt. What had I done? I rack my brain trying to figure out what I could have possibly done for her to be this angry at me.

I took a step closer, trying to bridge the gap between us, but she took a step back, her expression a mix of disbelief and fury. "I—" I started, but she cut me off, her voice rising with each word.

"Don't you dare try to play the innocent here! You texted Belly, Conrad. You told her you're so fucking conflicted. What did you expect me to feel? You've been trying to fix it, trying to woo me into falling for your fucking tricks again, to get back in my good graces, and then you do this shit! You can't have it both ways!"

Her voice trembled with emotion, each word carrying the weight of her disappointment and anger. My heart sank with every accusation, but before I could find the right words to defend myself, she was already on a roll.

"Every time I think we're making progress, every time I try to let you back in, everytime I start to admit to myself what I really feel for you, you pull this shit. How many times are you going to put me through this, Conrad? How many times are you going to make me feel like I'm nothing more than a backup plan?"

"Lennox, please," I said, my voice rough with emotion. "Let me explain. I—"

She shook her head, her frustration palpable. "Why? So can you give me more empty promises? I don't need that right now. I need to know where I stand, and right now, all I see is you running back to Belly every chance you get."

I opened my mouth to say something, to try to make her understand, but she cut me off, her voice trembling with rage. "No, Conrad. I don't want to hear it. I'm done with your excuses. I don't need that right now. I need to know where I stand, and right now, all I see is you running back to Belly every chance you get."

The accusation hung in the air, and I could feel my face flush with embarrassment and regret. "Lennox, please—"

"Don't 'please' me," she snapped, her voice cracking. "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being second best, of always being the fallback. You either figure your shit out or you leave me the hell alone."

Before I could react, she turned on her heel, making a move to leave. Instinctively, I reached out, grabbing her arm. The desperation in her eyes, the hurt etched into her features—it all made me tighten my grip. I spun her around to face me, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Lennox, wait," I said, "Please, just listen to me. I need you to understand—"

But she was already pulling away, her face a mask of defiant anger. I could see the pain in her eyes, and it tore at me, knowing that I was the one who had caused it. My grip only tightened "Please just fucking listen to me!"

"What could you possibly have to say? There's no justifying this."

With that, she wrenched her arm free and took a step back, her eyes still locked on mine. I could see the tears threatening to spill over, the raw hurt that she was trying to mask.

"I was texting Belly," I started, trying to keep my voice steady. "I was conflicted between you and Liam. I wanted to push, to be the one doing debutant stuff with you, but I wasn't sure if you were serious about Liam. I thought you were upset at the volleyball game because you were looking forward to Liam being there, that it meant something to you." I hold my phone out for her, urging her to take it, to see the words leaving my lips weren't empty lies.

Lennox stared at the screen, her expression a mix of disbelief and confusion. "You really thought I was upset because of Liam?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "I was upset because I thought I wasn't going to get to play. Because my partner stood me up. I didn't even want Liam to be there, the only reason Liam came into this equation is because you kept choosing Belly over me. You kept putting me on the back burner." her eyes stayed glued to the screen as if she was dissecting every single word sent between the two of us

It wasn't until my phone rang that I pulled it away from her. I watched as Lennox's expression shifted from hurt to vindictive as I answered the call. I could hear Belly's muffled sobs on the other end, the urgency in her voice clear even from a distance.

"Conrad, please, she stole my clothes," Belly's voice wavered through the speaker. "I need you to come pick me up. I'm stranded here with Taylor and it's freezing."

"I-" I pause for a moment, my mind blank as I looked at Lennox, her face set in a mixture of rage and sorrow, I knew this was different. I had to make a choice. My finger was already hovering over the button to end the call as she spoke.

"See? Belly's calling for you. Go to her. Go Leave me behind, just like you always do." her face scrunches up "captain save a hoe." she mumbles under her breath

"No," I said firmly, stepping closer. "You're not leaving, and I'm not leaving. This isn't going to be like the other times. It's me and you. No prioritizing someone else, no leaving you hanging. It's me and you."