ephemeral [ Conrad Fisher ]

37

I HADN'T seen my mom in what felt like years. Susannah had been a good stand in through out this summer, she had always been like a second mother ro me but my mom being here, it felt different. It was different. She always knew what was going through my mind, even before the words slipped past my lips.

She had always been my anchor, my confidante, and the one who could unravel the mess of my thoughts with a simple touch. As she entered the beach house, her warm smile brought the peace I had been craving since the fourth of july.

"Sweetheart," she exclaimed, pulling me into a tight hug. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, Mom," I replied, breathing in her familiar scent. The worries of the past days seemed to ease as she held me close.

It wasn't until I had tugged her up the stair to my room that I truly felt settled. My mom's fingers gently traced patterns through my hair, and with practiced ease, she began to braid it. As she worked, we fell into a comforting rhythm of conversation. She asked about my summer, the people I'd met, and the experiences that had shaped me.

"I met these amazing girls, Mom," I started, the words tumbling forth. "Nicole and Shayla. They're like... my best friends now. And Jeremiah, he's been different, he's not like an annoying little brother anymore, he's like a big brother to me now, you know? Always defending me, letting me confide in him. It's been nice." 

My mom laughed at the thought of Jeremiah assuming a protective big brother role. "It sounds like Jeremiah has finally grown up. Huh? But it sounds like you've found some good people here baby. You'll have to introduce me to Shayla and Nicole today."

"Yeah, in a way," I agreed. "But then there's Belly. She said something at the drive-in that shook me. She said, 'You coming here has ruined my whole summer. I wish you never came, I wish you never moved in next door and met them.' She's been... really mean, Mom."

My mom's fingers paused for a moment, a silent acknowledgment of the weight of those words. "People can be complicated, Lennox. Sometimes their pain spills over in ways that hurt others. It seems like she's jealous of how close you are with the boys... But that doesn't give her the excuse to be.. such a bitch to you."

I couldn't help but burst into laughter, a genuine, surprised sound that echoing across my room. "Mom, you never use that word!"

She chuckled, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Well, I don't like that she's being cruel to you just because she's jealous. A mother's allowed to break her own rules every now and then, right?"

"I guess so. But you're right. It's just so weird. I thought we would be friends."

My moms fingers resumed their gentle work, her voice steady and comforting. "Sometimes people let their insecurities guide their actions. It's not an excuse, but it's an explanation. Just focus on those who genuinely care about you." she hums softly, "And what about Conrad? You haven't mentioned him yet and you've always been joined at the hip."

"Yeah, then there's Conrad," I sighed, my voice carrying the weight of the complicated feelings. "We started dating, well I think we were dating but I don't know anymore. Everything's fallen apart."

"He's something, isn't he?" My mom's understanding gaze met mine in the reflection of my mirror. "That boy has always struggled with expressing himself."

I nodded, feeling the vulnerability of admitting my feelings. "Yeah, he is and you're right, but its never been like this between us mom." my face furrows as I shake my head "We've always been there for eachoter, always put the other first, always listened and shared. This is so much more now mom. It's complicated. It's messy. I think I love him but he just keeps pulling me in and pushing me away like the current pushes and pulls shells off the shore and to the ocean floor. One minute feels like I'm backing in they daylight and the next feels like im drowning."

Her hands paused in my hair, a moment of silent acknowledgment passing between us. The room held the unspoken complexity of love, friendship, and the inevitable clashes that came with them. "You think you love him?"

"You know how I feel about him mom. It's the same way I've always about him. He's incredible. He's my person," I admitted. "But it feels like he keeps choosing Belly over me. It hurts. It more than hurts. I feel like I'm drowning."

My mom sighed, her fingers gentle in my hair."Love is a beautiful and complicated thing, Lennox," she said, her voice gentle. "It's not always easy, and sometimes it hurts. But it's worth it."

Her words resonated with me, offering a perspective that transcended the complexities of my current situation. I felt a sense of reassurance and clarity, as if her wisdom had cast a light on the path ahead.

As my mom finished braiding my hair, she pressed a tender kiss to my forehead. "You're going to go out there today, play your best, and remember that, no matter what happens, you're surrounded by people who care about you."

With her words echoing in my mind, I headed out to face the day, reasy to deal with Liam, ready to win and ready to put my life on the line.