ephemeral [ Conrad Fisher ]

38

Conrad 

The soft glow of dawn had just begun to paint the sky as I found myself sitting on the back patio, lost in my thoughts. The morning dew glistened on the grass, and a gentle breeze carried the scent of salt from the nearby ocean. It was a serene moment, but my mind was anything but calm.

"Hey, sweetheart." My mom's gentle voice pulled me from my reverie as she stepped out onto the patio, a warm mug of coffee in her hand. She settled into the chair beside me, her eyes filled with concern. "What's going on? You seem lost in your thoughts."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, unsure of where to start as I stare at her for a moment, a silent battle of wanting my mom but not wanting to burden her with the weight that had begin to sit heavy on me. In the past I would have opened up, laid my head on her lap and let it all spill from my lips. But she was dying, There was no escaping that truth, there was nowhere I could tuck it, nowhere it could hideaway and the thought of burdening her, this summer of all summers with something that would seem so small had me pausing.

"You can tell me Connie." My moms voice is soft as she leans closer "You might be getting older but you'll always be my sweet little boy."

 I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "It's Lennox, Mom. Things... things are just really messed up between us right now."

"Tell me about it."

So I did. For the first time in months, I broke down that barrier I had created to protect myself from the reality, the barrier I had created with the intention of pretending like everything was normal. I spilled everything, from the moment I first realized my feelings for Lennox to the disastrous events of yesterday. I told her about the tension between Lennox and Belly, about the jealousy and hurt that had crept into our relationship.

As I spoke, she listened intently, her expression thoughtful and her eyes never straying from min. When I finished, she set her coffee mug aside and placed a comforting hand on my arm. "Conrad, honey, I've seen the way you two have always been around each other. From the very first day you met, when Lennox fell out of that tree and fractured her wrist, you were there for her. You've always been her protector, even when you were just kids."

I nodded, the memory of Lennox's tear-stained face etched in my mind. "I remember."

"You know her better than anyone," she continued, her voice filled with motherly wisdom. "You know how she thinks, how she feels. You know how to fix things, Conrad. You always have."

"Thanks, Mom," I said, leaning over to press a kiss to her cheek. "I'll fix this. I promise."

As she hugged me tightly, I couldn't help the tears that began to well at the back of my eyes, how many more times would I be able to turn to my mom like this? How many more moments would I have where she patiently listened and helped me think through my thoughts? The thought of losing one person close to me was already devastating but the idea of losing two was all consuming and catastrophic.

Leaving the comforting embrace of my mom, I knew what I had to do. I couldn't let things remain strained between Lennox and me any longer. She was too important to me to let our relationship crumble away. I headed straight for the bookstore, the same one I had taken her to the day we spent together, on the beach, getting sweet treats and within our own little bubble of peace. My mind was already focused on finding something that might bring a smile to Lennox's face. I remembered her mentioning a few romance novels she had been wanting to read, so I made a beeline for that section. Overwhelmed was an understatement as I shifted through the books that lines the walls, my eyes searching desperately for the titles she had mentioned wanting to read. It took ages, I had to have been in the bookstore for an hour before I finally caved and asked the employee for help, my cheeks red as I rattled off the titles of the books.

Books, that was the hard part. Sweet treats on the other hand? That was easy. Her order engraved in my mind as I stepped into the same bakery I had taken her to. Maybe I had gone overboard, maybe I didnt need to order a dozen assorted muffins and half a dozen of the white chocolate macadamia nut cookies she adores so much. But I did. I couldnt help myself. The thought of me being able to be the reason her face light up in joy after I had done nothing but devastate her was too enticing. I just wanted us to be okay. I wanted her to be happy.

As the cashier bagged up my order, I couldn't help but smile. Despite everything that had happened, I was determined to show Lennox how much she meant to me, and what better way to do that than with her favorite treats?

With the bag of goodies in hand, I made my way back to the beach house, my heart pounding with anticipation. I was ready to make amends, to apologize for any pain I had caused, and to show Lennox that I was committed to making things right between us.