"Peopel in high school are always so shallow, they judge you as soon as you breath.'
Hawkins is a new start for the music obsessed Y/n, even though she isn't particularly happy that she had to move and the only Person she knows there who is her age...
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I wanted to go to English , when i got approached by a Group of guys in the hallway. From there jackets i could tell that these guys were a part of the Basketball Team.
"Bro look at her, what hell is she? " i hear one of them laugh, his peers start giggeling from his dumb remark.
"Hey you" the tallst guy now say's, they are trying to talk to me, i feel a slight fear boiling inside of me, i wanna run, run so far away from here, the way they are already looking at me right now, makes me feel so uncomfortable.
"What do you want?" i tried to Sound as if i had a confident attitude, but i just know you could hear the slight fear in my voice.
"Do you cut yourself? you emo looking thing, like ew" he screames, his freinds laugh, one of them shouts "wrist reveal, wrist reveal" over and over. i don't say anything, i look at him mad. I just stand there. I'm frozen, i can't move.
They are telling me all kinds of things from "you look like you are fartheless", "you are like super disgusting, man" to "go kill yourself" there where other things, they said but there words almost sounded like whispers, so far away. But it feels as if there laugh turns louder and louder, it rings in my ears, it almost hurt's. They laugh, almost as if one of them just said a really funny joke. None of them said a actul Joke, they only said insults. I guess for them i am the Joke. I am not even a human to them, i am just a walking joke.
The bell Rings, i'm not more frozen, this time i actually run, not to class, but to a randome door.
I sit in a cabine right now, around me all kinds of cleanig supplies, a small vacum cleaner, sponges, a Brom with a dustpan, spray bottels and a lot ot other things like for exampel me in the middel of it, sitting on the floor, while i am shaking and crying.
This is probably the most embarrassing thing ever. I'm crying already, in this new school and thats the reason why i'm skipping class right now, which i know, isn't good, but i can't do anything right now, it would even mess more with my head.
I thought i was okay with people being wierd to me, only because I dress a certain way. I thought i was okay with people making fun of me, because i've been harrased alot when i was in my old school, but as it seemd i'm not okay, the thick skin i thought i owned, it was fake.
Then agian i'm stressed because we moved to this town and i'm tierd, i can't sleep. Maybe that's why i'm crying right now. Maybe that's why i'm so sensetive, or maybe i'm just really weak?
I hate the way this guy was screaming in my ear like that, the way they treated me, laughed at me, looked at me. Those boys could maybe really hurt me and that's something i am afraid of, it's crazy that i even think about that .... Boys are scary. Why are teenage boys like this? Why are they so... so violent? They are probably not even capebil to see me as something other then a joke...
