𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐓𝐢𝐞𝐬

10

*DON'T FORGET TO VOTE & COMMENT*

"Happy Birthday Daddy...I miss you down here so much, I know I should come here more often but I just been so lazy...I don't even know what my purpose in this world is anymore. I remember how you always used to tell me keep God on my side and everything will fall into place but I just don't know anymore...If I'm being honest, I don't even wanna be here anymore. Having to wake up everyday and just keep going is so draining, I'm tired. I wish you was here, I don't have no one to talk to, all those times I felt isolated or alone as a kid, it was always you that came through and put a smile on my face....you made me forget about everything and everyone, I was happy. I'm not the same anymore, I don't know how to describe how I feel, it's like a dark cloud over me everyday and I just keep getting high so I don't hit that breaking point and give up...My coping methods haven't been healthy at all, theres this boy, I don't know how I feel about him. He's like another distraction, the other day he did something that hurt me but somehow I'm not mad at him anymore, I guess I'm just numb to everything and everyone. I feel like something bad is gonna happen if I don't stop entertaining him, give me a sign or something. Anyways... I wish I came here with better news, maybe next year life will change...I love you dad, thank you for loving me the way you did, I will never forget you"

Mariah wiped the tears off her face as she folded the letter she wrote and tucked it under the flowers she brought to honor her dad.

Part of her regretted coming here since the atmosphere always made her extra emotional but she couldn't miss her dad's birthday. She already felt like she was letting him down by her day to day activities, the guilt with missing a special day like this would just put the icing on top.

"Cous, you good?" Michael stood awkwardly with both his hands tucked in his pockets as he stood behind her.

He agreed to bring her since she didn't feel like driving but he was the worst at comforting people when they cried.

"Yeah I'm ready to go" She glanced at her father's name engraved on the stone one last time before grabbing her purse and following Michael into the car.

"Can we smoke?"

"I ran out but we could cop some from Mee-" Michael stopped himself before continuing, knowing her and Meech wasn't even on speaking terms right now.

Mariah sighed, the emotional weight of the day still clinging to her. "I'll just text Meech to bring some over" she replied, her voice filled with a mix of resignation and exhaustion.

"You sure you wanna do allat? I'll just find another plug, it ain't hard. I don't think you should be texting that nigga, he told ya personal business" Michael began rambling and getting frustrated as he remembered the look on his cousin face when that situation went down.

"I don't even care anymore. I just wanna get high and he gives free bud"

Michael glanced over at Mariah, seeing the sadness in her eyes. He sighed, realizing that he didn't want to push her further when she was already struggling.

"Alright do whatever you want, I just don't wanna see you hurt again"

Mariah nodded at him before dozing off to a quick nap in the passenger seat while he drove away from the graveyard.

»»----　　----««

Once they reached home, Mariah strolled tiredly up the stairs and just crawled into her bed after taking everything off. She laid in her sheets comfortable with only panties on before pulling out her phone to text Meech.