New Home - BotW Link x Reader (Undergoing Revisions)

Chapter 44 - The Festival of the Champions

My negligence, I should be clear, was not my fault, nor was it purposeful, nor did I take any delight in having realized it.

As a matter of fact, it scared me half to death, because I didn't even realize Link was awake at first. While I'd gone off gathering our things, preparing a small snack for Epona, scrubbing down some of her equipment now that I had the time - I hadn't realized that Link was awake and watching me with doleful, desperate eyes, as though desperate for me to notice his gaze.

Only, I hadn't, and by the time I realized he was looking at me, he'd already looked away.

But as I'd soon learn, none of this was my doing - though it certainly felt like it, and I certainly still pinned the blame on myself anyway.

I'm pushing the point so hard, of course, because it truly was not my fault - but it's important to note that because Link himself would once we made it through all of this and he'd apologize profusely for making me believe as such, even inadvertently - but you, dear reader, won't get to see that until later.

I was happy at first upon waking up because as I mentioned, I was able to get a head start on those chores and those little extra things that I hadn't had the time to do earlier - things that I would've done had I not been napping.

What was jarring was that, when I called for Link to come share a snack with me, he did not come running as he normally would have, and as was expected of him. He did nothing of the sort. As a matter of fact, he terrified me with how completely, distinctly, unalive he seemed.

But after the emotionally-charged conversation we'd had earlier, I could find it in myself to nearly forgive how utterly defeated he looked, and chalk it up to him still being upset after all that reflection and rather depressing thinking. Nearly.

But what I just could not forgive, nor easily forget, was what he said, just as I could not ever truly forget the way my heart sank after an icy vice gripped it tight.

"(Y/n)," he said to me, "I'm tired of not knowing who I am."

I wanted to tell him that he did know who he was. I wanted to argue that the boy that loved sweets and naps and fighting for the thrill of it was Link, because for once he was not roped into duties, at least not with the royal family breathing down his neck like before. He had the freedom to choose, for the first time in his life - er, lives - and he did not have the king ready to lop his head off for any misdeeds or wasted time.

But I didn't say any of those things. I just let him talk.

"I'm tired of having everything chosen for me," he added and to that, I had to agree.

Everything was chosen for him. Before, anyway. A century ago, he was a damn good knight and was assigned to be the young monarch's personal swordsman - and now, he woke up in a strange but familiar Hyrule with nothing to his name and no one to greet him.

He'd had his duties forced upon him once again - though with the freedom to do what he wanted and when, but with the ultimate goal looming over him all the same. It was the semblance of freedom that allowed me to meet him, to know him, to understand him as the boy who loved sweets and naps and fighting for the thrill of it.

"I think I know why I was quiet back then," he said, "and it's probably because it was easiest. The pressure of everything else made sure I didn't have the time to talk even if I wanted to. Not that I would have any reason to speak - not when I had to focus."

"I think it's likely that it would've gone against your training as a knight to speak unless being spoken to," I had offered, but he shook his head. He'd convinced himself that he was right, and maybe he was. But that didn't make it any easier for me to digest.