The Light To My Darkness

11

Meave

,,Maeve, you have to tell me what happened!" Ave looks at me totally excited.
,,Well, we kissed and uh...I may have given him a blow job." My head falls on my knees as I laugh hysterically.
,,W-H-A-T ? Wait how long have you known each other? 1 week?" Her mouth is wide open as she stares at me with shock. I think there's a hint of pride though.
,,Technically longer than that and I don't know it just sort of happened. But to my defense, despite having thrown up, I was still very drunk."

We're sitting in her living room trying to do some homework but kinda got of topic.
Her fanily is rich. And when I say rich I mean filthy rich. Apart from the fact that her parents work a lot, she's still very close to them, which makes me a bit jealous but she deserves it.
,,So your telling me...You met 5 years ago for like 10 minutes and never saw each other again. And now he shows up at our school, you guys had maybe 3 or 4 conversations and suddenly you end up drinking at a party with him. Then after you literally threw up, he k-" She enjoys this obviously but i gotta stop her there.
,,Hey no. I brushed my teeth okay? Do you think I would have kissed him if smelled like vomit?"
I face her with an outraged look.
,,Okay okay," she laughs and then continues telling her sum up of what happened, ,, So you kissed and right after you gave him a bj. He dropped you off at home and that was it?" One of her eyebrows is raised.
Should I tell her everything? I know I can trust her but I am still scared she will see me differently.
But after all she deserves to know since she told me so much about herself, right?
,,Look there's some stuff I didn't tell you..."
Now she looks even more surprised, but I don't stop there. I tell her everything.

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,,Why didn't you tell me?" She looks genuinely hurt.
,,Honestly? I was a little ashamed. I mean you have this perfect live and my parents hate me. And I didn't want you pity me."
,,Meave you can tell me everything okay? I love you and I'm so glad you stood up to your mother yesterday." She welcomes me in a warm hug.
We never hugged so emotionally but it feels so good.
I don't have good experience with friendships so I'm always careful, but I think I need to let my past go and trust her. Just because some people hurt me doesn't mean everyone will.
,,I love you too, Ave."

,,Morning." A way to familiar face greets me as he comes down the stairs. I put down my wall immediately.
,,Leave her alone Noah!" My best friend answers for me and I'm eternally grateful.
A life lesson I've learned? Never get into a relationship with your best friends brother. Especially when he's like Noah.
A part of me feels bad that the thing between me and him ruined their sibling relationship, but Avery always assures me that it wasn't my fault.
I know he's an asshole and she knows it. Even her parents know it. He is the only part of her family that isn't stupidly perfect.
But despite her attempts, he ignores her and keeps his gaze fixated on me.
,,Already a new guy huh? I always knew you were a slut." He has this disgusting grin and is so creepily sure of himself.
,,It's been 3 month Noah. Get over it." I shoot back.
,,Yeah, just don't come crying to me when that boyfriend of yours leaves you."
,,Now that I know what an abusive ass you are, I will never willingly get near you again. I can promise you that. Now leave us alone!" As I hear my self talk I realize I am so indifferent to him. The only guy I can think about is Jasper.
I can see the embarrassment in his eyes as he leaves out the door. It brings a smile to my lips.
Avery just rolls her eyes at him and then turns toward me again. ,,Sorry for that." She says.
I just brush it off because by now I'm used to him acting like a total dick.

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By the time I get home it's already dark and I get excited about seeing him again tomorrow.
It's been...I don't know one and a half days and I already miss him.
I pull my phone out of my pocket to check for a message of him. Nothing.
But what did I expect? I wouldn't text me 24/7 either.
I hold my head up high as I enter our house, immediately feeling the weight on my shoulders as I enter.
This place is depressing.
,,Maeve."
I jump. Did she have to scare me like that?
,,I'm sorry if I startled you. I just...how was it at- uh what's her name again? Amely?"
I narrow my eyes to her sudden niceness. She never asked about my life and definitely not how I was feeling.
,,Avery." I answer with a flat tone but a hint of suspicion.
,,Right. Well?" Wait so she's serious? What happened to this woman?
,,It was good."
She might be playing nice now but I won't fall for it so easily. I understand how Jasper's feeling.
I can't just forgive her for everything.
But maybe this is a start.
I can feel her eyes boring into me from behind as I lead to the stairs.
,,Goodnight, mom."
,,Goodnight, Maeve. Sleep well."

5 years ago

,,Mom!" I wriggle myself out of my car seat, unplugging the belt. It's stuck and I can see my parents walking away from the car.
As I finally manage to get out, I run after them as fast as I can.
,,What do you mean there was a fire?" I don't get a responce and they keep ignoring me.
,,Dad?" I cry and cry. There's no end and I still don't know what exactly happened.
Why won't they tell me?
Is it that bad?
Did she die?
My mind wanders to dark places better left unseen.
It only makes me cry harder.
From afar I see a nurse walking towards us. At first she's just a white spot but as she gets closer her panicked expression is unmistakable.
My parents turn to her talking about things I don't understand. In the hospital are many people trying to speak with doctors. Kids like me.
Around the corner in a waiting hall I see a boy my age. He has almost white hair and his head is burried behind his knees. I wonder if he lost someone too.
Suddenly my mother pulls me by the arms and looks me hard into the eyes. I can see the tears running down her face. Her expression dead.
,,Meave, your sister is dead. We will go with the doctors to see her and say goodbye. You should stay here." She points to where the boy is sitting.
Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
My sister is dead. My sister who was like as second mother to me. My sister who meant the whole world the me.
I was laughing with her at breakfast this morning and now she's... gone?
,,I-" my voice breaks, ,,I want to see her too."
I could barely get the words out.
,,You couldn't handle it. Stay here." She's more direct now. Harsh.
I don't know what to say. I don't want to sit there by myself. I want to be with Casey.
When they notice I won't move my father grabs me by the arm and pulls me towards the waiting area.
,,Stay. Here." He looks at me with hatred and disgust. I feel like both my parents wish I would have died instead today. I wish it too. I don't want to be alone with them.

It's cold here. I want to go home and sleep in my sisters room, like I did when I was younger.
I want to cry in her arms because my parents were mean to me.
So I close my eyes, hoping this was all just a dream and I'll wake up soon. And I count the seconds until I see her again.

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