Lunaticus

20

When he arrived in my room that night, I was at the edge of my bed, waiting, fumbling with my fingers. He climbed into my room with his back to me, his humming alerting me that he hadn't seen me till then.

"I can't wait to talk to you all about today. I actually got to sleep the whole day. Oooh, I'm so excited about tomorrow- Gah!"

I shifted, twisting my body to look at him hiding his face in his hands. He parted two fingers. A slither of silver stared at me before he clasped his fingers again.

"Chloe what the fuck- Pick up that damn shirt and put it back on!"

His words were muffled, but there was mistaking the mortification that seemed to seep through his reddening ears and neck. I tried to force myself to be bold, though I felt just as mortified as he did.

Trying to cut down on the awkwardness, I made my way to him. "Aw, is someone shy?"

"No one is shy- Holy crap, how did you get so close so quick?" He turned around, facing the window now, his chest heaving and falling with effort as I stood behind him.

I had to say, some of my bravado deflated at his obvious reluctance to look at me. Doubt crept in, and I wondered if maybe, just maybe deep down, he felt distasteful regarding what had happened to me.

He was nice enough to hide that feeling for my sake.

"Listen Chloe, look...I don't think you are ready- I don't think I am ready. I mean I am, but not for that, not when you're not ready... What even am I saying-" I felt him turn back around, just as I made for the bed, picking my shirt on the way and shrugging it back on

It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

Understandable, his rejection was completely understandable. Maybe he didn't feel like it, and who was I to rush him into doing something he didn't want to? I face-palmed, suddenly feeling so stupid and naïve. A strange feeling had my throat cramping, and I fisted my hands, breathing in rythymitically.

But he did want you before you told him. A tiny part of me spoke back. I shoved it down, suddenly feeling homesick.

A hand grabbed mine.

"Let. Go," I turned my face away, avoiding him. Angry tears snaked around my cheeks, while I harshly wiped off. I felt every wall inside of me getting ten times thicker.

"It's not what you think. Hey, look at me," His words were soft. Unshed tears clogged my eyes. I sniffled when his palms cupped my cheeks and he leaned down to whisper.

"Let's make one thing clear," His thumb rubbed soothing circles, the other hand settling gently at the nape of my neck. "I. Want. You. Beyond comparison. Beyond boundaries. I have never met a teenager as horny as I am for you."

I frowned, still quite not meeting his eyes. "Then why won't you look at me?"

He didn't speak until I did. His eyes flashed, two crescents in the dark. "You stupid girl. I'm waiting for you to shift. I worry that- if I take on you now, I will be too intense. I won't be able to stop myself."

"From what?"

He leaned in and breathed in, his lips caressing mine, "From marking you. From fucking you senseless."

I blanched. I had never heard him be so... graphic. But then this wasn't the Lyell I knew. His pupils were dilated, and I could feel how rigid his muscles were.

It took effort to speak under the intensity of his gaze. "M-maybe I want you to."

He closed his eyes, his shoulder rising and falling. I gently combed back his platinum-blonde hair, running my nails across his scalp.

"Do you? Knowing I can't give you a proper home, a proper title? That I can't support a family that I long for? I have nothing to give you right you, I wish to give you the world, Stella Mia."

But his words didn't weren't as complacent as I wanted them to be. His earlier words had brought up another memory.

I couldn't wait to mark you. Soon. As soon as you shift. My pretty girl.

I started to tremble. That had been five years ago. And now he was here. He had found me. Worse, because he hadn't even been searching. The same fate that had thrown Lyell across my path had now cursed me with Marc.

Words failed me. I didn't know what to say to Lyell.

I had thought that tonight if Lyell marked me, that would be the ultimate fuck you to Marc. It would be enough to repel him and send across a clear message: I was taken.

But now...It almost made me blanch. How similar Marc and Lyell were when it came to marking me.

Lyell is nothing like him.

"You're thinking. I can feel the steam from here." He grinned, the passion now faded. He sat beside me, and slung a hand across my shoulders, as if that was all there was to it. "Just you wait, Chloe. I'm turning you down now so that one day I can become worthy of you."

I need to tell him.

"You deserve better than a diddling carpenter. I have some money. A few more months of trading, and It'll be enough for me to buy a lodge. Maybe near the river? Somewhere far away from this mess, yours and mine. You would have shifted, and hopefully I wouldn't as much. We would have a dozen kids. A whole tag team..."

His chatter filled the silence that would have otherwise gnawed at me. I practiced the words in my hand, You know the rapist I told you about? He's here or Remember that night when I told you about that? The perpetrator behind it is back.

He's back. He's back. He's back.

"Who's back?" I jumped. I hadn't realized I had spoken out loud.

"Uh..." I dawdled. Just say it. It can't be as bad as it already is. "Well.. you know..."

A brief knock sounded. The door opened.

Marc stood, with Gem, one of the patrollers, beside him. Both their eyes zeroed in on Lyell sitting beside me, who snatched his hands off as if I had burned him.

"Chloe," Gem started loudly, "Mr. Pestello said you were an old friend of his. So I brought him over. Lyell, buddy, I gotta talk to you 'bout somethin'."

Lyell looked confused. He glanced between me and Marc. He stood but made no motion to leave. "What's going on?"

Marc decided to speak. "Oh, I'm just a friend of Chloe's. We were runaways, together, but we had some bad blood between us so we parted ways. As luck would have it, I've been given the chance to firmly apologize to her. If you guys would allow me some privacy, I wouldn't want to be more embarrassed than I already am."

Smart of him to not bring up my pack. Had he done so, I could bet my sketchbooks Lyell wouldn't have left. He still didn't, but Gem persisted. Finally, glancing at me warily once more, he followed Gem outside my room.

Don't close the door. Don't close the door. Don't-

The door shut softly behind them.