Haunted || Theo Raeken

06. Orphan

It is said that when people go through something traumatic, they shut down. Numbness and confusion are normally the two first symptoms that appear. It is said one may experience a rush of overwhelming emotions that they aren't ready to respond to yet, which can cause the body to go into a state of shock.

Mr. Stewart used to say it was part of the fight or flight response, a normal but painful way the brain reacts to something it sees as a threat. When the brain is unable to process the situation, it freezes to protect the mind and body.

That wasn't Vinnie's case.

Instead of complete numbness, all she felt was complete and utter pain. At some point, emotional pain had morphed into a physical one, and she had lost the ability to differentiate between them. She wasn't aware something could hurt that much. She felt like she was being torn apart from the inside out, or at least she figured it would feel something quite similar. Now and then she would look down to make sure she was not dying because it was impossible to feel such agony and being unharmed. After some time, she stopped checking.

Vinnie had never been suicidal, she had always had everything she needed. A loving father, a caring sister, loyal friends, and a roof over her head, but now that she had lost the foundation of her happiness, everything had started crumbling.

All her father had ever wanted was for his daughters to live a long, happy life. Much to his luck, he died before finding out none of his wishes had come true. One daughter was dead at eighteen, and the other was in hell.

Lucky him.

──── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────

The girl thought she would have run out of tears by then, but as she stared at her father's casket as it descended to the ground, Lavinia found herself crying again.

Everything passed like a blur, from the ceremony to the walk to the car and to now, the cemetery. People she never talked to would come up to her and tell her how they knew her father. Every single one of them would repeat the same thing, he was a good man, as if she didn't know that already, as if he hadn't raised her for the last sixteen years. She wanted to scream, and shout and tell them all to leave her the fuck alone, but that would take too much energy. Energy she didn't have anymore.

Vinnie didn't notice everyone's pitiful glances and meaningless condolences, she could barely register Liam's warm presence beside her, much less the way some people were looking at her. She felt as if she was underwater, all the surrounding noise just a dull sound barely reaching her. She was drowning. Her body was sinking to the bottom of the sea, and she couldn't do anything to stop it. Water filled her mouth, and traveled down to her lungs, but she didn't fight it.

Her eyes danced around the cemetery. Row after row of tombs surrounded her for miles. She absentmindedly wondered how she had even arrived there. The sunny weather of a few days ago had disappeared, and gray clouds painted the sky as she looked up. Rainy days used to be her favorite, but they would now remind her of gravestones and death for as long as she lived.

For as long as she lived. A huff escaped her lips. For as long as she lived. Well, she hoped it wasn't too long.

Her eyes wandered around the guests, but she didn't recognize anyone. Maybe she had seen them before, maybe she hadn't. It didn't matter to her. Nothing seemed to matter to her. Would that feeling ever go away? Or would she be stuck feeling so... paralyzed?

Her gaze finally locked on his coffin. It was an ugly brown, the exact shade of brown he wouldn't have liked. Had she chosen it? She couldn't remember doing it. The box was long, long enough to fit his body, but it would never be long enough to fit the man he had been.