𝐀𝐧 𝐄𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

the olive theory

HENRY

Two weeks had breezed by since our semester exams, and while I still couldn't shake the worry about my test results, the past two days had brought something else to the forefront of my mind.

It was that volleyball game, you know, the one where I ended up tangled with Alex on the floor.

The memory of our unexpected closeness during that intense moment just wouldn't leave me alone. It was like this persistent thought that I couldn't easily brush off. It left me curious, more aware of Alex in a way I hadn't been before.

Alright, fine, I'll admit it. I've low-key had a thing for him ever since I first saw him.

Ironically, the day we first crossed paths had left Alex with a starkly contrasting impression. He'd started to despise me from that very moment.

As for me, well, I couldn't reveal the truth – that I'd been harboring a major crush on him ever since that fateful day. I had no choice but to reciprocate his hatred outwardly while keeping my own emotions under wraps.

Despite the snarky remarks and our ongoing rivalry, I couldn't deny the inexplicable pull I felt towards him.

I still vividly recall that moment from two years ago when I first laid eyes on him at the conference in Melbourne. The golden sun bathed his skin, making it radiate with an almost otherworldly beauty. There was an undeniable charm about him that drew me in, compelling me to like him despite my initial reservations.

Looking back, I regret not being more welcoming to him right from the start. Now, I can't help but long for his presence and wonder what could have been.

But alas, a part of me is acutely aware that he would never reciprocate the feelings that I have for him. That's why I've chosen to keep my distance.

Despite the constant mockery and rivalry that once defined our interactions, something has shifted.

Our relationship has reached an unusual stage. What was once a bitter rivalry seems to be evolving into something akin to a bromance, minus the romantic aspect. It's a perplexing and conflicting situation, to say the least.

I've been purposefully ignoring him, attempting to distance myself in a futile effort to get rid of these feelings. It's as if I'm trying to convince myself that pushing him away is the only way to rid myself of this attraction.

I've been spending most of my time with my best friend, Pez. He's the only person after my sister, Beatrice, who is aware of my sexuality. So, of course I had to tell him about my raging homosexual crisis.

Pez genuinely believes that Alex doesn't belong on the queer spectrum, and that realization is particularly upsetting for me. Unfortunately, it's a belief I can't change, no matter how much it bothers me.

Well, to be fair, he isn't completely sure, and maybe I shouldn't let my beliefs be solely based on assumptions either.

The funny thing is, despite my attempts to distance myself from Alex, he keeps sending me these hilarious memes on Instagram. It's as if he's constantly pulling me back in, urging me to engage with him no matter how hard I try to stay away.

I understand that he's simply trying to be friendly, but deep down, I can't help but feel that friendship might not be what I truly want from him. What I want may not even be on the table.

By the time I return from Pez's dorm, Alex is usually fast asleep in our shared room. This convenient timing makes it easier to avoid any awkward conversations with him.

But tonight felt different. As I approached our room, a sliver of light seeped out from beneath the closed door, indicating that Alex was still awake. I could have easily turned away and returned to Pez's dorm, but a curious part of me longed to see him.