Heart of River {BDSM / 18+}

19

He drifted off to sleep after a while and I traced my fingers along his back as I watch the nonsense reality show I switched it to. I watched for a few hours before my mind drifted off as the guys on screen started to fight.

I only had two weeks until we all attended the check in with Madam at the House. We weren't supposed to have an answer by then, but I knew it would be asked. But how do I choose without any disappointment?

If I choose Casey, I'll lose the structure and control I want. But if I choose Kentaro, I lose a great companion and the choice of freedom from possibly too much control.

Plus, what would Casey think if I didn't choose him after the amount of stress he put himself through to admit something he felt he had to keep a secret?

"God," I lay my head back, staring at the ceiling.

"Mm is he listening?" Casey's voice was groggy as he lifted his head. He rubbed his eyes before reaching up to touch my cheek. "You're crying."

He sits up and pulls me to his chest. I shake my head and wipe my cheeks. I hadn't realized I was crying. "I'm sorry."

"Quit it, what's wrong?" He holds my hand and his thumb rubs my knuckles. I focus on the sensation and take a deep breath.

"Just thinking that I'll have to make a decision in two weeks. And I can't." I smile sadly. "I don't really want to talk about it any more right now, is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay, love." He pulls me back in for a tight hug. "How about we have some quality time? Order food, play games, put on movies?"

I nod and he hops off the couch. I zoned out as I stared at the screen, waiting for him to come back.

It felt selfish to be thinking of myself, after the courage Casey had to muster up to tell me something so personal. I pinch the bridge of my nose and he walks back through the door with three menus in hand whilst staring at his phone.

"Okay, so I've got two Chinese places, an Italian place, and then whatever we can order on the app." He turns the screen towards me as he sits down.

I look through the app as he browses the menus. I see his favorite Sri Lankan restaurant and smother a pleased smile. I pick his favorite dish and something for myself and pluck the menus from his hand.

"I ordered."

His eyes squint suspiciously and he tries to grab the phone. I pull it back, just out of reach and laugh. His mouth pops open in half-mocking shock.

"Give me the phone." He laughs, swiping for it again.

I can't hold in my laughter at his expression. "No."

His face drops quickly to serious and his hands grip my thighs. My eyes widen and I swallow thickly as he leans closer, and his gaze drops to my mouth before meeting my eyes.

"Are you being disobedient, River?"

I clutch the phone, desperately trying to hold my resolve. I want to say yes, I am and you can't do anything about it.

But he could.

The thought excited me as much as it scared me. Even if he's a switch, he could potentially be a dangerous Dom. My mouth was suddenly dry but I nodded shakily.

"It's-it's a surprise though." I stammer out quickly.

His mouth twitched into a smirk.

"You told me no." His hands grip tighter. "Dogs don't tell their owners no, do they?"