𓆸
I'm so scared-
That I might not find the love
I hope to have.
I'm really scared...
𓇢𓆸
To my dear journal,
I know there is nothing to worry about, nor to be scared of. And that I should just "focus on myself" and "learn to be alone and have independency" -blahblahblah, but why should I? Humans are living beings that need connection. That needs socialization, and whatnot. But why must I listen to someone who currently has their own significant partner? Well, yes, it's good to learn to be independent, focus on myself, and improve certain aspects of my "flaws".
However, things are way different once you meet someone new, in a romantic sense. What I mean is that you would notice a lot more about yourself. Compared to what I notice alone versus when I'm with someone, a myriad of hidden issues, and overthinking would arise. In order to improve, sometimes we learn the other parts of who we are when being with another person. We act differently and think differently sometimes; it depends on who we are with.
But I'm scared that I won't ever experience it. Just experiencing that love I hoped to have. Maybe I guess, someday. I don't know. I want to learn and experience my "love" self when I'm in love with another person. How I act. How I show my love language. I want to love. I'm holding so much love within my heart, yet I don't know when or who I could give it to.
I know~, people will say "yourself!". Yes, self-love. I had plenty for myself. My heart and love always is endlessly growing. I want to love many other people. Whether it be familial and platonic; I've been loving those in my life like that. What I mean is I want to love romantically. It's different from anything I've been feeling so far. I want to love someone romantically. I want to intertwine my soul with someone.
Sincerely, a frightened girl who wants to love and be loved.
YOU ARE READING
a girl's scattered journal.
Poesía"I'm overthinking again, aren't I?" A journal of a girl who's trying to clear her mind. A collection of thoughts, opinions, and whatnot. Filled with messy thoughts that weigh her shoulders down. You'll be delving into a scattered journal of what p...
