WHEN YOU'RE CLOSER

CHAPTER 19

"Talk to me, please." Landon desperately said. "Please, love..." 

I couldn't help but chuckle bitterly. "Love? Am I? Hey, Landon," I called him as I looked at him intensely. "I was so done with these. To all of these. I am so done with my life, Landon. I... I gave myself a chance. To you. But where does it lead me? Fucking bullshit, yeah?" 

Hands shaking from all the emotions I had at the moment, I gathered my strength to get my cigarette at the table. 

"You smoke?" asked Landon confused as if it surprised him. 

"And so?" 

"You never told me." 

"Because there's no need to do so. You didn't even tell me about your plan and now you dare to ask me that?" I sarcastically asked. "Get out of my place now, Landon." 

"All of it was true — yes — but that was before. My feelings for you were genuine. All of what I've shown to you was real. Believe me." He said full of emotions in his eyes. 

"Can't you understand, Landon? It's not where I am coming from. I don't even care if what you showed me was real. All I cared about was you — betraying me to get what's mine. How could you help them? I mean, you knew how much that meant to me, right? So, why? What's your fucking point of doing that?"  I bitterly asked, stopping myself from crying. 

How could this man betray me? How could this man help them to destroy me again? 

"They told me they would ruin everything you have, including mine. They would ruin your life if I wouldn't help them get that to you. And also my family's business." 

"You could have told that to me from the start," I said calmly.

"I am sorry." 

"Thank you for telling your side to me, Landon. I understand where you are coming from. You already explained yourself to me every single time you go here and I appreciate that. But please, leave. I don't want any company at the moment." I sincerely said. 

He nods. "I am willing to wait, Aster.  Always know that I love you, truly." He smiled softly as he left my apartment.

I was tormented after he left. I don't know what to feel. Indeed, I understand his reason yet the betrayal I felt was something that I could not just let go of. It hurts me hard to the point of doubting his love for me. He told me he loved me, yet he did something that could make me doubt it. 

All of these things happening to me was something that I had no idea what I should do next. Should I just give it all up? Should I just disappear again? Maybe that would be a great idea. I survived it before. I've done that so maybe this could be easy for me now. 

Trembling, I got my things packed and ready to run away from all of these. I was about to leave my apartment but when I opened the door, I saw my brother outside who was about to knock. 

"Running away again, huh?" he commented after he saw the suitcase I was holding. 

"That's what I am good to," I chuckled bitterly. "Right?" 

He nodded as he agreed. "Right." 

"What brings you here?" I asked as I puffed on my cigarette and blew out the smoke. 

"To check how ruined you are now." He casually said. "And... seeing you in this state makes me think that you are so damn ruined. What happened to you, Aster?" 

"Am I required to answer that? Seriously, you have nothing to do with my life, Ravi." 

"You are my sister." He said darkly.