Anyway... You know, me and my wife watched the James Cameron Titanic movie during Lockdown. You know, the one where the ship sinks, and we all cry like we've just lost our last piece of chocolate!
Me and my mrs watched that that film. Oh yeah. It was like a rollercoaster of emotion for us. It starts with excitement and ends in tears the size of the fucking iceberg in the movie!
You sit down, you're all excited, thinking, "Oh, it's a love story set on a ship; how romantic!" But then, reality hits you like a tidal wave. First, you meet Jack, the charming artist, and Rose, the lady from high society. And you think, "Ah, this is going to be a beautiful love story!" But no, not in James Cameron's fucked up world!
As the ship sails on, you see the opulence, the grandeur, and the fancy dinners, and you start to think, "Maybe this ship won't sink after all." But then, Celine Dion's voice starts blaring, and you realise, "Oh shit, this ship is going down faster than a man falling down Mount fucking Everest!"
And there's that moment, you know the one, when Rose is clinging to a piece of driftwood in the icy water, and Jack's freezing his bits off in the ocean. You're screaming at the screen, "Rose, move over and make some room you stupid freaking woman! There's plenty of space on that door!" But no, she's like, "No! I'll never let go, Jack," as he turns into a human popsicle. I mean, what's romance without a bit of frostbite, right?
And don't get me started on that old version of Rose throwing the Heart of the Ocean into the ocean. You're thinking, "Why not just sell it and buy a yacht, lady? You've had enough of freezing your toes off in the North Atlantic!"
And let's not forget the "I'm the king of the world" scene. Leo's standing there, arms outstretched, and you're thinking, "Mate, you might be the king of the world, but you're about to become the king of fucking the ocean! I'll tell you that much."
The movie made loads of money. The printing press must have been halfway to spontaneously combusting! I mean, I've seen cash flow, but this probably was like a tsunami wave of green! James Cameron must've been doing the cha-cha on his pile of cash!
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Lee Evans: The Comeback At Wembley
HumorLee Evans returns to comedy for one final time to mark a significant milestone in his life and career. It is a farewell performance to celebrate his years in comedy before officially retiring. Get ready to laugh at his jokes about his wife, the poli...
