when the pain is too much to bear (Fantastic Beast OC tome 1)

If you need me...

Four days later

— It's me Theseus!" he says, knocking on my door.

He came again, he doesn't accept defeat. They've been here by several times, sent several owls... I need to be alone, damn it !

— I know you're there! Please open the door!

— I'm coming, I say shakily.

I lower the two protective charms on the door and opened the locks. He enter, I immediately put my protections back on, to be safe. That calm me down immediately. No one can get in ! No one can get in !

— Rosa!" he let go a little low, very worried.

I remains silent; I hate that look. He continues, more gently:

— I wanted to see how things were going, I have my answer.

I remain silent, not looking at him.

— You've been avoiding us while you're here, our owls, you've been on leave. You are not well.

I keep silent, trying to calm down. Theseus keep looking at me.

— Sit down, sit down.

I went to the sofa and Theseus follow me.

— Rosa, we are really worried about you! You can't isolate yourself and lock yourself away. Talk to me! Can you still see them ? What's going on ?

I didn't answer. He came closer and I back away, without thinking.

— Rosa, he has tears in his eyes now. Come back with me and Leta.

— No!

— Rosa!

— No! No!

— Double protection charms, lock, it's a fortress, not a place. You look exhausted, paranoid !

— I see them all the time ! I'm afraid they'll come back again ! I shout. I'm not safe !

— Rosa, I just want to give you a hug!

— Don't touch me, I begin to cry.

— Okay. Okay. I won't touch you. I'm not leaving, I'm staying here and calling Thomas.

I start to cry even more.

— No, not Thomas! Please, no ! He can't see me like this.

— This is non-negotiable. You're really not well ! You need help.

— Not... Okay. I concede.

— Thank you! I'm not touching you, but please stay here.

— Okay. I said without energy, at least I wasn't crying anymore.

I lay down on the couch. Theseus remains at a distance. The silence was overwhelming.

— Talk to me, he beg. How long has it been since you've really slept. The truth.

I am unable to answer.

— Rosa, oh!

Anxiety rise, my hands began to tremble. Anxiety floting in my entire body. I am starting to have trouble breathing. My heart speeds up. A panic attack is coming if .... I .... breathe, breathe... I sit and took the blanket, shaking.

— Rosa, tell me five things you see.

— Theseus.... I say as I panicked even more.

— Five things you see.

— You, a book,the kitchen,.... the table.... a drink.

— All right,then. How do you make a peace potion? The Ingredients.