when the pain is too much to bear (Fantastic Beast OC tome 1)

The power in me

I went to the ministry with Theseus. Leta joined us to go to the training room. I feel great, a little nervous, but much less so than my friends. When I asked them to help me train for combat, they looked at me as if I'd lost my mind, literally. I explained, but I have the feeling that Theseus isn't ready. He doesn't say it, but he's afraid I'm going to have a flashback or he's going to give me one. Leta understands the importance of regaining my power, but I can see that she's worried. They haven't taken my power away from me, and I won't let them. They're imprisoned, but I won't let it affect my confidence in my ability to defend myself.

Leta opened the aurors' training room, reserved exceptionally for us, as a benefit of their work. It reminded me of the duelling club sessions at Hogwarts, only more professional.

— What exactly were you thinking?" asked a tense Theseus.

— Working out the speed combinations, mastering Expelliarmus as an unspoken spell. I know it's difficult, but it comes in handy in a duel. I can do it sometimes.

He pulls on his costume to regain composure.

— If it's all right with you, we'll start with Expelliarmus as an informal spell. Leta took over, hiding her fear better.

— Perfect. Theseus, I know you're worried, but I want to do this.I need to do this.

It didn't help, unfortunately. After a lot of trying and perseverance, I managed to get it done. The anger helped, to be honest, but so did the pleasure of learning. Next to that, the speed chains were easy. If that mannequin was a sorcerer or witch, it would have lost!

Taking a break, I got ready to ask again about the point that worries them most, real-life combat, magic against magic.They do it in their missions and in training, but I feel their resistance for me.I understand that, but it's the most effective, and I really hope that at least Leta will accept.

— We've talked about magic versus magic training.

— No," refuse Theseus immediately.

Cause lost, I gave in, only for him.

— Leta, please. For my sake.

— Do you really want to do it? she asks, not willing.

- One hundred percent determined. Just like at Hogwarts. You're doing it for practice. I negotiate.

— It's a terrible idea, Theseus refuses again. This is different. It's controlled.

— As controlled as it is now. I retort calmly. I'm a trained witch, you're both trained.

— You know it's different.

— I know. I said, understanding. I need to do this. It's the next step.

— I just don't understand why.

— I do. I'll do it with you. Leta decided.

I grim, fill with gratitude.

— Thank you very much.

— You're not going to give up the idea when you haven't done it, are you? Sigh Theseus.

— No," I answer honestly.

— You've managed to neutralise two of them. That's already a lot.

— Not enough.

— By Merlin's beard ! Very well, for you! He say more softly. You know best what you need.

— Thank you. I need it. I try to reassure them both. I be okay. You really are the best of friends to me.

— And you're stubborn. He held back a smile.

— The three of us are. I smile.

I stand up and Leta join me, picking up her wand. I concentrated, ignoring my surroundings, and got into position. As if by agreement, we stopped. Unsurprisingly, Leta dominated, even though she held back. Nevertheless, I managed to disarm her with three informal spell and avoid the maximum, much more than before. I feel strong, no fear, no memory, just adrenaline. The wound is closed, fully healed after this session. Leta smiled at me.

— Thank you both so much! Thank you Leta !

She came over and gave me a hug, followed by Theseus.

— You're doing better than most of the Auror apprentices I've trained. she congrats proudly.

— I enjoyed doing it ! Nevertheless, I will stick to potions, I laugh.

— I understand why you needed it, I was wrong. he spoke. Ready to go home?

— Yes! Let's go!