when the pain is too much to bear (Fantastic Beast OC tome 1)

What I feel

Thomas POV

Five minutes, let it go and come back to Rosa. I try to let go of the pain, of seeing her like that, knowing what she feels. I should have done more, insist more ! I saw the signs, I should have help her ! I should have insisted more! The edge, the never talk about it, the nightmare, and more !

I force myself to stop crying, time is up. I can't break right now, for her, I need to be here, to be the strong one. I get of the bathroom, still feeling it, Rosa, I'm sorry. If a could, I would take everything ! I stumble into Theseus, who immediately worry more for me.

—I'm okay, I anticipate the question, lying.

— I know that must be very hard for you.

— You okay ? I evite the question, not watching him.

— I'm okay, I am here if you want to talk.

— I'm going back to Rosa. I say, to get away.

I open the door and rejoins Rosa, peaceful in the bed, resting now at least. Leta after a hug leave the room. Rosa's pulse is good, no dream can come, no bad memories ! I took his hand, to let her know that I am here.

— I am here, Rosa. I am here. This is going to get better, we are here, we're not going anywhere. I am going to do everything to help you, you're going to be okay. I'm never leaving you. I ...

I held back from saying it. The tears came, seeing her like this is unbearable. If I could, I'd take it all, the stroke, the memories. I pull up the blanket, I didn't want her to be cold. I take her hand again, not letting go for too long. I start talking to her again, talking nonsense before reading for her.

An hour later, Norbert try to take over, but I refuse, despite my fatigue. I resume my reading. I gave in when Leta came in, at I don't know what time. I checked that everything was still okay, gave my recommendations, and then went to lie down for an hour. I sent a thank-you owl to Alexandre, who had replaced me at the hospital, and found a replacement for my shift this morning. What time is it? Six a.m. According to my calculations, Rosa should wake up in two or three hours.

Rosa POV

I open my eye, stuggling. Where I am, I thought the room turning. Thomas is here, he... no...no... Memories came flooding back.

— The ..... crucio I cry.

— I know, chu, chu.... he reassures me, taking me in his arms. You .... relived it?

I nod, confuse.

— How do you .... know? How did it stop?

— You were screaming stop. I cast a spell to help you. Is this the first time or not? He asks softly.

I shook my head negatively and the tears came back.

— It's the ..... second time. I ....

— We'll talk about it again, but it's doesn't have to be now.

Perfect, he offers me a hug and I snuggle into his arms and cry, let go of the pain, in safety of his arm.

— I've got a soothing or sleeping potion if you want.

— Sl.... sleep, I choose, tired.

He pours a little into a glass and give it to me, still close of me.

— Here, I'll stay here, I won't move.

— Thank you," I say grateful before taking the drink.

He take me back into his arms while it kicks in, guilt coming to make him live that, him or my friend.