The Pompous and The Prick

Chapter 3: Murder In Mumbai

It was a new day, and Blitzø was back again in his office, doing more very important work. He was laying face down on his desk, as his thoughts wandered around, digging through sh*t he didn't want dug through. Everywhere he went there were news stories about Prince Stolas's dating life. He'd already shot 3 TV's and put 2 phones through the blender, and it was getting expensive. Why the hell was he letting this privileged, sappy, nerdy, overly attentive, birdbrain get to him? He needed to get over whatever was tripping him up, and fast. And he knew just what would fix it.

He picked up his Megaphone, "Moxxiiiieeeee!!!"

"Yes, Blitzø?" A sweet sounding Millie entered his office.

"Okay, Millie, when the Bible said that becoming married means that you become one flesh, I don't think eating your husband and taking his identity is exactly what it had in mind." Blitzø gestured to her general person with an incredulous look.

"Moxxie is out sick today, so I'm taking his shift. . . And also my shift. Double shifts." She said holding two fingers up.

"Okay, first of all, never say double shifts again unless we're having a threesome. And second of all, what in Satan's name did he get sick with that's so bad he can't come into work, huh?!" Blitzø stood as he shouted.

Millie crossed her arms and raised a brow, "He has the chicken pox."

There was a pause of silence for a moment before Blitzø started having a laughing fit so big he fell on the floor.

"Yeah, yeah, I see the irony." She rolled her eyes, "What did you want Blitzø?"

"How many clients we got?"

"Well, we've got a grand total of . . ." She counted her fingers for a moment, "zero."

"Ugh! Can't Mox do anything right? Hang on." Blitzø took out a sheet of paper and made a flyer with more spelling errors than information.

"There! A full proof way to get customers. It worked for that time with Verosica, it's sure to work again."

30 minutes later, on an empty street by a pole with a flyer, "Why isn't anyone here?!?!?" Blitzø shouted.

"Maybe all the sinners in this area have already gotten their revenge from last time. We could try a different area-" Millie started.

"Ah, forget this." Blitzø said, pulling out his phone and making a call, "Loona, how fast can you get to the street?"

"Lucky for you, I was about to go on my lunch." Loona said from behind him.

"Aw! Loony! My impeccably timed daughter, as always!" Blitzø said.

"Didn't you already take your lunch? Like an hour ago?" Millie asked.

"She is a growing girl and needs to a full belly." Blitzø cuddled up to Loona.

"Damn, right." Loona said before peeling him off of her.

"Okay, Loona, make a portal!" He pointed at the wall dramatically.

"To where?" She asked pulling the book seemingly out of thin air.

"To the living world!" He pointed again.

"Where in the living world?" Loona raised a brow.

"Somewhere with a bunch of d*ckheads!" Blitzø dramatically a third time.

"Yeah, that doesn't really narrow it down-" Loona placed a hand on her hip.

Blitzø began rubbing the space between his eyebrows, "Look, Loony, I don't care. I just need a place with lots of people filled with lots of blood. Can you do that for me?"