The Pompous and The Prick

Chapter 12: Damnation Carnations

He had done it; Stolas had sent a message to Blitz under the guise of Trent. Was this the right choice? He didn't know, but in the end, all he was doing was talking with him. It was a nice day out, so Stolas set his phone down for a while to get some fresh air. He took to gardening in his greenhouse. The sound of running water trickling into the pond, the fresh greenery everywhere you looked, the smell of the soil, the feel of the leaves, everything about it helped to ease his mind.

While there, he could also talk to his plants in complete privacy; so he would go there often to tell them of his woes when he had no one else to speak to. Therapy had been helping him with that, so it had been awhile since he had gotten his hands dirty as he talked gossip with his growing friends. It's not like they could respond, so a lot of what he said to them were just unfiltered thoughts; something a great bit different from the careful and strategic way of speaking he had been taught to use growing up.

It was a relief to stop worrying about whether or not he should text Blitz as Trent anymore, but it was all the more stomach churning to think of what might happen due to this one choice. Blitz's opinion of him might wither, stay neutral, or by some miracle, grow better. They could form a bond, a friendship, or perhaps something else? It was a bit early to be getting his hopes up, but if there was a one in a million chance that things worked out, he would take it. All hope was not lost; he could picture it now, the shocked look on Blitzy's face when he realized it was him all along, then smiling up at him and taking his hand. He imagined taking walks with him along asteroid belts, gifting Blitz a bush trimmed into the shape of a stallion on his birthday, they could spend more alone time together exploring ******* ***** ***** all over the **** **** ********* ******, and then one evening by the tree where he once offered him a job as children, he might produce a wedding ring, simple and filled with love. Stolas would be allowed to plan the wedding however he wanted this time. Octavia could be the flower girl, or perhaps she could be his maid of honor. They would cut the cake together, playfully smoosh it in each other's faces, and then they'd ride off to their honeymoon together in a beautiful horse drawn-carriage. He'd have to be sure to invite Bluez to the wedding.

There was another option, of course. Another, terrible option. Blitz would see that it was him all along, and look at him with disgust. Stella had been right about him being a boring stiff, and no adventurer and thrill seeker like Blitz would want to be with him. He would see who Stolas really was; just a desperate, pathetic f**king man who would do just about anything to be with him; including bargaining, cheating, and deceiving the ones he cared about most. Was he . . . the monster of the story?

Plenty of other scenarios were also possible; endings where they would start a relationship, but it wouldn't last. Scenarios played across his mind, where Octavia would have to go through another divorce, where Octavia resentment for Blitz would arise once more and he'd be put into an impossible situation. Scenarios where either of them could be slain by an assassin, or be chased into a corner due to the public revolt, ending their happiness too soon.

Every single one of these scenarios were far, far down the line and a million and one choices had to be made in order to even get within range of them. Once again, Stolas had gotten ahead of himself; carried away in fanciful dreams, and anxious nightmares. One step at a time, just as Bluez had said. What an odd fellow, Bluez. How could one person give some great advice to him, but also be in such desperate need of advice himself? Well, not a single person in any realm escaped being a hypocrite and a contradiction. Still, such a paradox of parts made for an interesting character, and he'd happily walk away with officially having 2 friends at the end of this online dating attempt, if nothing else. Next time they talked, he'd have to recommend Bluez see a therapist. The poor man seemed like he could use a licensed professional, too.

"Dad! Are you in here, mumbling to yourself again?" Octavia didn't bother knocking as she opened the glass door.

"Wha- I don't- you shouldn't- And anyway-" Stolas stumbled on a watering hose as he was standing up, "Ahem, I was talking to my dear friends. You know how plants like a good conversation. Did you come here to join me? I do have some damnation carnations in need of repotting."