The Pompous and The Prick

Chapter 23: A Charcuterie Board of Emotions

As usual, a translation of Blitz's misspelled messages will be at the end; after the author's note.

It was Blitz's own loud snoring that woke him up. He sat up, and heard a ripping sound. Behind him, he saw where his spikes had left the pillow. It already had many sewn on patches, and it looked like it would need another. His legs buzzed, more asleep than he was, a heavy weight on them. He squinted, eyes adjusting to the dark. Loona was curled up on his legs, warm, enormous, and adorable. They were on the couch together and he had a vague memory of asking her to stay with him, drunk out of his mind.

Breaking the most important rule of all parents and pet owners, he slowly slipped his legs out from under her. When he did, she stirred a little, and yipped. He was worried he woke her up, but it seemed she was just talking in her sleep.

Pins and needles pricked his feet as he got up to try and improve the circulation in his lower half. He found his phone charging in the kitchen, where it usually was, so he'd remember to eat breakfast. Unfortunately, this often led to midnight snacking as he rarely slept through the night.

He stuck some bread into the toaster, and checked his phone to find that Trent had messaged him on Succuchat. The time was currently two in the morning, and Trent had sent the message at midnight. He debated for a minute about the likelihood he was still awake. Then he saw what the message said, and decided to reply, anyway.

I have had quite the day.

Ya? Wat hapened

Trent took a few minutes to reply, this time. So Blitz put his toast on a plate, put way too much Eazy Spread Cheese on it, and leaned against the counter, eating it. Then his phone buzzed.

Sorry for the late reply. I just had to deal with a maniac of an ex.

Ha, ya last tim I met some1's ex, I slept wit them

Blitz realized what he was saying as he hit send. Sh*t. Trent was going to think was some kind of n*mphomaniac, something he had been called from time to time, but never thought of himself as. Chaz though, Chaz would've fit the bill. He was trying to think of a way to back track when Trent replied.

Trust me, you wouldn't want to touch her with a ten foot pole.

Blitz thanked all that was sh*t in the world that Trent was the kind of person that could take his weird*ss offhanded statements in stride.

Wate her? Didnt ur profil say u were gay? Waz it a beerd relatoinship?

I suppose it was, in a way. And I definitely already knew what that term meant and didn't have to research it, just now.

lol

Actually, it may be about time I come clean about something.

Wat? ur not maried or sumthing, r u?

Blitz had said it as a joke, but then waited a horrifyingly long few seconds watching the "someone's typing" dots dance, before receiving a short answer.

Yes, I am.

He saw the dots dancing again, but quickly typed his response and sent it.

O. Well, that complikates thingz Iz he a nise guy?

He wanted to scream at himself. Nice guy? What kind of question was that?! Of course Trent was already married! All the good ones are. Did his husband know he was on dating apps? Was Blitz going to be dating both of them? What if he didn't like the other guy? What if they had kids?! No, wait. They definitely had kids. Trent had mentioned having a teenager before. How did the kid feel about their parents being polyamorous? Did they even know? Or was Blitz about to break up a family because the relationship wasn't an open one and-