I'm Meant To Hate You

13

"You have to travel to Madrid for your film premiere tomorrow. I've booked your flights on our business jet." I informed Emily, her eyes latching onto my lips as she watched them move. "Fox?" I spoke sternly, my hand reaching across to gently tap the side of her face. Her eyes darted up to my eyes, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked between my hand and me.

"Did you just touch me?" She mumbled.

"Yeah... I don't see what you're trying to get at. But were you listening to what I said? Tomorrow you're going to-."

"Madrid, yeah. I was listening. I always listen to you." She whispered the last part, rubbing her eyes.

"Are you okay?" I said, clasping my hands together in front of my body and leaning towards her on my desk. My eyes roamed across her body as her hands covered her face, the red pant suit that she was wearing matched beautifully against her naturally caramel skin. Under her blazer she wore a single black leather bra, her blazer buttoned up to cover most of it. Something I hadn't neglected to notice was the fact that she wore heeled boots, which gave her more dominance as her gaze was equal to mine.

"Why?" She asked, seemingly confused as to why I had asked her such a question.

"Haven't we been over this? Did the other day not clear enough up for you Fox?" I stressed, unclasping my hands and instead folding my arms, leaning back in my chair and crossing my right leg over my left.

"You don't have to do all of this because you're my agent. You don't have to pretend to care. It's cruel." Her hazel eyes locked onto mine, and I let a loud silence hang in the air for a little while as I let her eyes communicate with mine.

"I wish you would get it in your head that I am not what I used to be Emily." Despite the feelings flowing through me, my voice remained soft.

Her eyes stayed on mine, searching. Maybe for a lie, maybe for the truth. I don't think she knew what she was digging for either, maybe anything. Something that would indicate that I'm lying to her. It seemed to come naturally to her, to prove that I wasn't being honest.

"I just- I can't forget." She whispered out, her voice barely managing to let her say it.

"The other day was pointless then. You practically begged for us to be okay. We were vulnerable with each other, and now you do this? What do you want from me Emily? I don't understand you." My voice wobbled, something that I didn't expect. I never thought I would get emotional when it came to her. Truly emotional. Because I cared. I never thought I would care. I stood from my chair, letting a frown take over my face and moved towards the door, pulling it open a little bit. Maybe it was the idea that opening the door opened the room up, so it didn't feel so close, so personal, but it let me breathe easier.

"Are you coming to Madrid?" Her small voice spoke up.

"I am." I said, moving to stand by the windows.

"Are you coming with me?" She asked, this time her voice growing closer as she took a place standing beside me. I looked over her, but not long enough for her to catch my gaze.

"Yes. Is that going to be a problem? Do you not want me to do that?" I spoke, trying hard to not let the betrayal slip through the cracks.

"I didn't say that. I don't want to be alone, that's all. I've never been to Madrid before." She sounded nearly as vulnerable as she had before.

"I won't leave you alone in a foreign place. I'm not that cruel, despite what you might think."

"I didn't mean it like that Kiana, it's just-."

"No, no Emily. Don't explain. It's probably best if I don't know why you feel the way you do about me. I'm sorry for who I used to be, but I'm not sorry for who I am now. I really am the something you don't like, that you have to do, to get to something you do like. I'm your stepping stone, I get it. I don't need anything from you, nor do I want anything from you. I think it's best that you go and pack, choose at least two nice outfits, then the rest can be whatever you see fit. You look gorgeous today, red is definitely your colour. I'll see you tomorrow Fox." I said, not staying to see the effect that my compliment had on her and instead turning and leaving my office. It probably didn't even affect her. Why am I thinking into it?

My hand held onto the rail of the stairs as I made my way to Melanie's floor. She still hadn't come home yet but she had text me back to say that she was in fact still alive and kicking. I pushed my weight on the door to her floor, my eyes latching on to her head, bopping to the music that echoed through the office floor. This had to be the most relaxed department in the entire building.

"Well, well, well. Made it back from the Ministry of Magic did you? You disappear without a trace and now you've somehow appeared at work before you do at home. Did you say Diagon Alley wrong again, Harry?" I smacked the back of her head, scolding her.

"Excuse me Hermione, you're not my mum. For your information, I was with someone. We get on really well. I stayed a few nights." She spoke, almost nervously. She always cared about how I viewed her relationships, or more-so my opinion on the people she dated. She knew I got a bit protective over her when it came down to it.

"You could have sent an owl." I said, trying to break her awkwardness over the topic at hand, leaning against her desk and looking over the rest of her office at the few people that ran around after everyone else.

"Will you shut the fuck up with the Harry Potter references? You need to find a woman, your obsession with films is almost concerning babe. What about she who must not be named? Have you had babies yet?"

"So you tell me off for the Harry Potter references and then you add more to the fire. Bitch. And can you leave that alone for a while, it's kind of gone sour." I dismissed her line of conversation, but I knew she wouldn't let it go that easily.

"What did you do?" She asked nonchalantly.

"Why does everyone assume it's me? You know what, go and find another muggle to talk to, or go live with your girlfriend." I spoke almost nastily, but she knew I was only annoyed. She knew I was taking it out on her and she knew that at some point I would go running after her to apologise. She knew not to take me seriously.

My feet slapped harshly against the concrete of the underground car park, my hands grasping my keys out of my pocket. I rarely drove the business car, but I knew it was always there for me to use when I wanted to. My hands rested against the top of the door frame, allowing me to lean against it; my head dropped gently as I let the stress of the day speak volumes to my physical appearance. A soft touch to my left arm made me freeze. I didn't have to look up to know who it was, the smell of her perfume gave it away. My head slowly rose, my eyes bouncing over her face.

"Are you okay?" She gently asked.

"Where are your bodyguards?" I dismissed her question, my eyes looking around the car park before finally meeting her hazel ones.

"Outside. Are you okay, Kiana?" She asked more forcefully, her hand squeezing my arm. My face turned into that of a pained expression. Why does she get to ask how I am if I'm not allowed to ask her?

"Go home Fox." I said, on a dangerous path to ever so closely opening up to her. I pulled my hands away from the car, inevitably making her hand drop off of my arm. My hand grasped the handle of the car, pulling the door open before it was closed again. "Emily..." I warned, releasing my hand from the handle.

Her arms reached behind my back, the same way they did the other day. She brought her body closer to mine, the same way she did the other day.

"I'm sorry." She whispered against my neck, her breath almost teasing me. I heaved out against her, finally letting my limp arms pull her closer against me. "I wasn't okay earlier, but I'm okay now." She said softly, and I knew by the silence that she left hanging in the air that she wanted me to say something.

"You're stressing me out Fox. You're dragging me all over the place. You have to stop confusing me. Please." I spoke, my hand gently moving against her back.

"I don't mean to. I'm just- I don't know how to act with you." She admitted, burying her head deeper into my neck.

"Fox if you keep doing that this will turn into something you certainly don't want it to." I warned her, but she kept her head where it was. "Fine, just act normal. How you would with anyone else. How you would treat a friend."

"A friend. Okay." She said, softly pulling her head away from my neck and looking over my face. Her head nodded, almost as if she was answering an internal question of her own before she pulled away completely, but not before placing her lips against my cheek. She turned on her heels fast, not allowing me to come to my senses before she disappeared.

"Fuck me." I whispered out, shaking my head and grabbing the door handle for the second time, pulling it open.