I'm Meant To Hate You

34

Emily was gone when I got back to my room, I woke up alone this morning. I rushed to get ready, unwilling to waste valuable time in finding out if she was upset. I thought about going to her room last night but I didn't want to intrude. Jerry had come in this morning to tell me that they were going shopping for the day, but I declined his offer when he asked me after he told me that Emily wasn't going.

My hand gently knocked against her door, leaning against the doorframe as I waited for her to let me in. The door was yanked open before she pulled me on, shutting the door and slamming me against it as she looked up at me slightly. "Finish what you started." She warned. She was half naked already, clearly anticipating my arrival.

"I thought you were upset with me." I muttered, placing a gentle kiss against her forehead before picking her up and instead pushing her into the wall, her legs clasped behind my back.

"I'm fucking horny Kiana. Wren disrupted a perfectly good mo-Oh fuck." She moaned as I slipped my hand into her underwear, my fingers rubbing against her at a fast pace. "S-slow down. I won't last." She groaned, her head falling against the wall behind her.

"I don't want you to last, my love. I want you to topple over the edge in my arms." I whispered against her ear, gently nipping her ear lobe before I moved back to her lips. She could barely comprehend my lips on her's, her moans overpowering any sort of kiss I was trying to initiate. She sucked in a sharp breath when I slipped a finger inside of her, her hips grinding against my hand. I pushed more of my weight into her to try and keep her more steady against the wall, making her cry out at the increase in contact. My teeth then clasped down onto her breast over her bra, her hands tightened around my neck.

"Ki- Kiana. I'm-I can't. Fuck." She cried as her legs shuddered, my hand not slowing down as she toppled over the edge. Her heavy breaths fanned against me as her head fell against mine.

"I love you so much. You're so fucking beautiful." I mumbled as I placed a few kissed against her cheek as I carefully pulled my hand out of her.

"Fuck." She whined, still sensitive, a single tear falling down her cheek. I didn't hesitate to kiss her again, this time a lot softer and with more meaning.

"Let's get you in the bath." I said softly, not dropping her to the floor and keeping her against me, carrying her out of her room and into mine.
I gently placed her standing against the sink as I turned to wash my hands, then filling the bath with a few different soaps before running the tap and turning back to her. My hands enveloped her in a hug as she let out a gentle cry. "Hey, it's okay. It's because you were so worked up. It happens sometimes." I whispered as I pulled away a little, smiling softly at her.

"I don't know why I'm crying." She huffed, frantically rubbing her eyes and moving out of my grasp, not out of annoyance towards me but from annoyance towards herself. She carefully got in as she didn't look my way. I shut the bathroom door, moving back towards the bath as I got undressed and got in too. I lowered down behind her, sitting with my back against the edge of the bath before pulling her against me. She breathed in a sharp breath at the contact before relaxing against me, leaning her head on my chest.

"It's okay. It happens to everyone. It's perfectly normal to have heightened emotions after sex, it's cute." I mumbled as I leant my head on her's.

"It's not fucking cute. It's pathetic." She muttered, clearly still displeased with herself.

"Would you have said that to me if I had done it?" I asked.

"No." She spoke softer this time, humming in thought as she finally let go of the anger towards herself and accepted it instead. "It's normal." She said, more to herself.

"That it is. It's beautiful, Em. Embrace it. That's something we share. No one else will know, that's a me and you thing, and for that, it's fucking cute. Oh and, I loved seeing you crumble against me." I whispered. She giggled as she rubbed her face a little before grabbing the soap and washing my hands thoroughly. She then placed them against her stomach, caressing them softly.

"I want to see you like that, properly." She admitted.

"You will. And I'm even softer than you."

"Was Wren okay last night?" She wondered.

"He had a bad dream so he came to find me. I put him back to bed and stayed a little while, I'm sorry I left you for so long."

"It's okay. I was kind of...lost last night." She muttered out, making me chuckle.

"With lust. You were horny. You were angry and horny. I get it." I teased, making her pinch my hand a little.

"Shut the fuck up Kiana. Just wait until I have you wreathing over me."

"Oh my love, you've already had me like that on more than one occasion. It's not a threat, it's something I enjoy. I'll be counting down."

"I love you." She whispered, her grasp tightening on my hand.

"And I love you too." I kissed the top of her head, pulling her tighter against me as I hummed out in content. She seemed to let out a heavy breath once she had said it, relieved.

"I think we should tell everyone." She said, waiting for my response. I left it a little while, wondering if it was something that she would regret saying.

"I'd like that." She turned over in my arms, leaning up to smother my mouth with her lips. I breathed out heavily into the kiss, the passion making me dizzy.

"I really love you." She said once she pulled away, her hands caressing my cheeks as I smiled down at her.

"Can't blame you. I'm very lovable. Just like you. You know I really love you. But I just don't think you realise how much." I mumbled as I leaned in again. I was happy like this, happy with her.

Her hands ventured down my thigh, stopping on my still red scar. "You never mentioned how you got this." She muttered, gently rubbing over it with her thumb.

"We haven't spoken about anything from then. I didn't think it was fair to. I left and I didn't want to smother you with all of the events of the past year or so. I never meant to upset you by leaving Em. I just needed time away and that was an opportunity I was willing to take. It was a last minute decision, I had never thought of it before. I went for it. I don't regret it, but I hate how I left things."

"I don't mind. I want to know everything about you. I want to know your past, I know your present and I want to stay for your future. We've both made mistakes. I'm willing to move past them."

"A bullet. I was dismissed after. I didn't follow a direct order, put myself in danger and got hurt. I didn't think twice before I ignored the order." My voice wobbled slightly. I would never have left that child, even if it killed me.

"It's okay. Whatever the reason, you wouldn't have done it if it wasn't something that meant anything to you. You're here now, you're back. And you will never have to be in that situation where making a decision will tare you apart. I promise." She stated. She didn't try and sugarcoat anything. She was certain, she was helping me. She was supporting me. My girlfriend, who was my childhood 'enemy', was supporting me in a situation where I needed it more than anything. Her head rested on my shoulder as she softly kissed my neck, nuzzling into me.

"Thank you." My voice was soft.

"Always."