The Theater Girl and the Player

You Belong With Me - Part 6

   "Where's Carla?", I question Darren.

Removing my coat, I plop myself down on the floor next to him and Jane. Since I arrived late, I was sure to get scolded by Callie but also by our chief, Carla. I have no good reason for my tardiness, too.

   "She didn't show up", he replies, shrugging.

That is really unlike her. She loves the theater club, it's her safe place! It's also mine. 

After the events that took place last night, I honestly hesitated to go to school today, but chose the wise option. I don't like school. I am not skilled and have a hard time concentrating in class, which more often than not leads me to nasty grades. Luckily for me, I don't want to be a doctor, unlike my younger brother, so it doesn't really matter to me. As long as I know that I did my best, I am proud of myself. 

I wish I could have that same kind of laid back mentality when it comes to boys... I did attempt to repair whatever had happened between Dylan and I. But, there's nothing to fix, he doesn't like me. Only because I like performing, I like theater..! Which immediately gives me the label of being a freak, a weirdo...

The members of the group continue chatting and I observe the time passing by. After 30 minutes, I stand up. I won't just hang around the room, to hear more about Darren's multiple life disappointments.

   "I'm gonna go find out where Carla is.", I state plainly.

I walk out of the room, not sure on where to start searching for her. 

Rubbing my eyes, I remember my horrible evening. I mean, what did I think? That 'the Labrador' was obsessed with me? I whimper aloud and a boy passes on my left at the same time. He throws me an unkind glance. What? Is it because I let out a little tiny noiseless whine, or are my eyes puffy? Does it show that I cried? This completely slipped my mind when I left for school this morning..! I didn't even check myself in the mirror once. I mentally decide to blame Marsha for that as she never wakes me up when she is supposed to.

I head to the nearest bathroom. Putting myself in front of the mirror, I study my face. Nope, just a whole lot of blemishes and strange bumps on my skin and is that a pimple..? 

   "Oh, please...", I groan.

I take a step back. This is making me insecure. No wonder a hot guy couldn't stand hanging out with me, I resemble a swamp monster. Staring one last time at myself in the mirror, I snap at mirror-Peyton: "That's it! We are not dressing up as a mermaid this year, no way!" It's not as if I really wanted my Halloween getup to be that, anyway. The best outcome would be to find a group costume to go ahead and do with my theater friends. I cannot stop tears from filling my eyes. 

I have never been confident in my appearance, but I can't put my finger on why Dylan rejecting me is affecting my self-perception so much.

A toilet flushes behind me. Wait.

   "Carla?"

I pray that it is indeed my friend, since I did have a slight breakdown where I yelled at my reflection whilst this person was doing their business. Just as I finish wiping the tears that had rolled on one of my cheeks, a girl who is wearing black glittery headphones slides beside me to access one of the sinks. I doubt she heard me speaking at all, which reassures me. I do not need people to think I am an even bigger weirdo.

   "Hey, I love your hair!", she tells me, a genuine smile on her face.

I always stand out because of my hair colour. For instance, today, I am wearing the most basic attire. A monkey could have come up with it, and yet, I just received a compliment! It's these small interactions that can make a day better. Although I'm known for adoring big gestures, like in movies, the more low-key ones are appreciated as well.