Jake and I. (On Hold)

Chapter 5: A new start. (Again)

The Monday of my solicitation I walk out the door again, and I notice again that the lady at the counter doesn't even look up. I go to the bookstore and see the old lady already waiting. 'Hello Agnes, am I still on time?" I ask. 'Yes, plenty on time dear.' I smile and walk behind Agnes to a small office behind the counter. Agnes gestures me to sit down and I sit down on the chair. 'So Emily, how many days would you like to work for us?' I gulped, I hadn't really thought about that before. 'I think 4 days, if that's possible?' I said. 'Okay, shall we say Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday then?' asked Agnes. 'Is good, then I can work 2 days in the bonbon shop, and 2 days in the book store. From what time to what time do I actually work then? And how much do I earn per hour?" I asked. 'Very well, let's say Monday and Thursday in the bonbon store, and Tuesday and Sunday in the bookstore. It's from 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. I suppose that's no problem?' I nodded, and Agnes was already moving on. 'The minimum wage for a 17-year-old is something like 5 euros, so let's say 7.50 euros an hour, that's 9 hours of work, so 9 x 7.50 is 67.50 a day is 67.50 x 4 is: 270 euros a week for you,' I nodded, 'I really think that's a lot, thank you. When do I start?" I asked. 'How about now?" said Agnes and she smiled at me.

'Fleur really liked you last time, so she was wondering if you might like to come along to one of her student parties sometime?" asked Agnes, and she whispered right after, "Then you can keep an eye on her right away, she's only 21 you know." she said. I chuckled as Fleur came in just then and made a goofy face because she heard it. 'Fleur will be settling you in this week, if you don't know something, you can just say so, and we'll come and help you,' said Agnes still unsuspecting. "Fleur!" screamed Agnes, and Fleur bent slightly forward and whispered in Agnes' ear, "Yes?" Agnes shot up in terror and turned angrily, "I could have had a heart attack from you! So I take it you heard what was expected of you?" asked Agnes. I had to do my best not to burst out laughing, while Fleur quickly took me to the bonbon store. There we both shot into laughter. "That was really cool!" I chuckled.

Fleur worked me in and I had a lot of fun with her, we connected well despite the age difference. I got another box full of chocolates pressed into my hands by Agnes and I couldn't help but accept. Fleur invited me to join her on Tuesday to a big party somewhere in a nearby forest. I wanted to go with her the next evening and I was already looking forward to it. I walked around and when I automatically found myself in front of Jake's apartment I was startled, I threw a few chocolates through the letterbox and hoped they wouldn't melt and walked to the orphanage.

Again, there was no weird look on their faces when I returned with delicious chocolates in my hands. I ate them while watching another nice movie, I sent an app to Fleur (we had exchanged our numbers while working) and agreed with Fleur to make myself up at her place and borrow her clothes, but first I would meet her at the bookstore and have dinner with her at 6pm and then Fleur would take me to her apartment. That night I fall asleep quickly because I am tired from working hard, I sleep in and the next morning I woke up fresh and fruity.

I was bubbling with energy and went for a walk. I went to the fountain in the woods and hooked up the little box I had with me to my phone, I set it to its loudest, the music starts playing, and the moment I start dancing it feels like the music isn't coming from the box, it's coming from me, the music flows through my veins and finds a way out as I surrender to the music and all the feelings that come with it, I'm in a kind of flow, and it never seems to end. I let everything flow over me, my dead parents, the orphanage, my suicide attempt, running away from the orphanage, Jake, finding work, trying to build a life, it's all really not as easy as you might think, or as I describe it, all I'm trying to do is recall the happiest moments of my life, but also the painful ones, I'm trying to accept all of that, and to move on with my life now, to see what I want to do with myself. But first I have to find myself and see what makes me happiest, and right now that is this moment, dancing by the fountain and losing myself in the music.