Jake and I. (On Hold)

Chapter 8: New York.

When we get there, Killian and I are welcomed by his assistant Els. We were driven to the hotel and Killian and I were given a room to share. I had remained silent and not spoken the entire flight. I plopped down on my bed and closed my eyes. I knew Killian was staring at me, but I ignored it. I heard Killian unpacking his things and I stood up. I started unpacking my things and once I was done I sat down on my bed. Killian sat on his bed across from mine and looked at me. I knew he was waiting for me to say something. My father didn't have time for me for another 3 days, and I'm still his son, let's just emphasize how busy he is. Sometimes I wish my father wasn't rich and my mother was still alive so we could just be a happy family. But otherwise I probably wouldn't have met Emily and wouldn't have been able to finance Killian's parents to adopt her. And otherwise I wouldn't be who I am today. Everything I've been through in my life has made me who I am, and I've come this far, so I can't complain, Emily has it much worse. I miss Emily, her smile, how she can put me in my place, and she doesn't walk away from a fight. As I think about this I feel the hole in my head. It barely hurts and I smile at the thought of Emily pushing me to the ground. She looked furious, but when I think back she looked like a little child who doesn't get what she wants. And then they always make such a cute angry face. "I miss her." Killian says. I look at him in shock: "Y-you're not?" I ask. Killian laughs. 'You're really hopeless, you know that? No, I wouldn't do that to you, she's more of a sister to me. So you've been warned, if you hurt her you're going to die.' Killian smiles at me, but I can tell he means it. 'She's a very special person, you know, you don't meet many people like that. She has been through a lot, you can see that in her, but she now tries to stay positive, she has more fun and tries to be herself. I see that Jack, she cares about you a lot and she feels safe with you, I don't know what it is that she feels, but she certainly feels something.' Killian says. 'I know, she's special too, why else would I fall for her? But don't try to give me false hope.' I answer, I look down and feel my eyes fill with tears. 'She is worth so much more than she thinks. I don't deserve her. She deserves so much better, all the misery and still being able to talk about it and still remain positive that others have it worse. That may be true, but she shouldn't push her pain away, she needs to accept it in order to process everything. I want to see her cry, I want to be able to comfort her. I want to help her and above all I want her to be happy.' I say in a broken voice. Killian nods and pulls me up to give me a hug. I can really be happy with such a friend. He oversees so much and he is a treasure, but he can also really put you in your place, he took care of me when my mother committed suicide, he supported me and helped me to go to school in the Netherlands while my father traveled around the world to to star in films and he now supports me again. With everything with Emily, and now he is willing to have her as a sister and persuade my father to finance his parents. He's like a big brother to me, and I've never done anything in return to show how much I appreciate him. I look up at Killian. He is always nice to everyone, and when people are mean to him, he always sees the positive sides of them, which is one of the reasons he is so loved. I love him like a brother. People may now think I'm weird, sentimental, weak, not a man, but at least I'm telling the truth. I think Killian has so much to give to this world, and yet he remains humble. I'm pulled out of my train of thought when Killian lets go of me and wipes the tears from my face. 'I'm sure it will be fine and if not I'm here for you. We're going to get Emily out of there. Or else you write her letters that you give to her when we see her again. Could that be an option?' Killian says comfortingly. I nod and blow my nose. Killian laughs: "Jesus Jack, sometimes you really look like a toddler." I also laugh through my tears and collapse on the bed. I'm tired from jet lag, and it's late so Killian and I go to bed.

The next morning I am woken up by Killian's voice: "Come on, get up, if you want to experience something else to write down in those letters of yours." I know he is grinning and he opens the curtains. I squeeze my eyes shut, but Killian pulls the covers off me. "No, I'm not a morning person like you." I groan. I hear Killian laugh: "It's afternoon, I've been up for hours." When Killian keeps chuckling, I get up with a grunt and take a short cold shower and get dressed. When I'm done, Killian and I go downstairs to quickly eat breakfast. We go outside and walk through the busy streets. I'm quite tall, but between all these buildings, with all those cars and crowds, I feel small. Killian and I are amazed and we have no idea where we want to go first. When I see a yellow taxi driving by, I pull Killian's arm and look at him enthusiastically. "We have to get in a taxi now!" I shout and Killian laughs at my enthusiasm. "Jack, you do know that sometimes you really look like a little child when you're super excited about something," he laughs. I stick out my tongue and hold up my hand to stop a taxi. When he stops we get in and the gentleman asks in English where we should go. "To the cinema please." I ask. And as we drive there I look out the window with a broad smile. The buildings are gigantic. There are a lot of cars, and we often come to a standstill, but that doesn't really matter to me, because I'm not in a hurry, except for the fact that I miss Emily, but there's not much that can be done about that right now. When we get out I almost run into the cinema and Killian lets me pick out a movie. I choose a movie from a poster that looks very colorful and cheerful. "All The Colors Of My Life." it's called, we buy a huge bowl of popcorn and something to drink and walk into the hall to our seats.

Ultimately, after the movie, the movie turns out to be a very depressing one that reminded me of Emily. It was about a girl who had nothing but bad luck in her life, and when a boy became her boyfriend he got seriously injured and the girl committed suicide, and BOOM that was the end of my movie. It reminded me of Emily and my mother. I swallow my tears as I feel Killian looking at me. "Are you okay?" Killian asks worriedly. I quickly plaster a smile on my face and nod enthusiastically. 'Come! We'll take another taxi, and then we'll go to Central Park!' I say enthusiastically, I pull Killian along, but as soon as we get to the park and Killian looks away for a moment, I drop my act. I can't last long like this. The silent tears stream down my cheeks and I quickly walk to a bench to sit on it. Apparently Killian sees me collapse out of the corner of his eye, because he quickly comes running towards the bench. I look at him with big sad eyes full of tears as he hugs me. I cry and sniffle on his shoulder until there are no tears left. I pull back and give Killian a watery smile. He smiles sympathetically. 'Jack, I feel you, that movie wasn't fun, but try to hold it together, Emily misses you too, she's waiting for us in the Netherlands and we'll make it, we'll see her again soon. No problem. And until then, try to chill out and relax a bit, because believe me you have to know what you are getting into, Emily is tough, so if I were you I would get some rest while you still can. ' Killian says the last bit jokingly. I chuckle through my tears. "You're right, but I have plenty of time." I sigh, I miss Emily. She is so special, and without me realizing it, she started to mean a lot to me. Killian and I walk through the park for another hour and then we take the taxi to the hotel. When we get back to the hotel I grab paper and pen and start writing...

Dear Emily,

We have arrived safely, by we I mean Killian and I of course. It's beautiful here in New York. I don't really know what exactly to write, we (Yes, Killian and I again) are going to discuss it with my father in 2 days and a bit, the first day was fun in itself, but it was actually a bit too much, We went to a depressing movie that reminded me of you and I couldn't accept it, then we went to Central Park, but I'm also jet lagged so I'm really exhausted right now. So I'm going to go to bed quickly. Good night.

-Jack

I put the pen and paper away and look at Killian, he looks back at me and smiles. I smile back, but I can already feel the tears in my eyes. What's wrong with me?! I look like a freak! And yes, there are already tears. Killian's smile disappears and he jumps up and sits next to me to give me a hug. "What's wrong?" Killian asks. "S-sorry, I suddenly realized that I never thanked you for everything you did for me. You have no idea how much of a difference that made. You have always continued to help me, even though I sometimes made wrong choices. You have always supported me in my choices, and I am really very grateful for that.' I say. Killian nods. 'It's okay, you don't have to say sorry, you're worth it. You're like a little brother to me, of course I won't abandon you.' I nod and release Killian from my suffocating embrace. "Come on, let's go to sleep, we have to prepare for a long and hard conversation." Killian says. I nod and change into my pajamas and crawl into bed. "Good night Killian." I say. "Good night Jack." Killian says back and I slowly drift off into a deep sleep.