Physical Communication

Chapter 26

I clean up my dinner and make my way to the couch. I turn on the tv and plan to waste some time for the first time this week. I have been working hard and keeping myself busy. Whenever I have even a moment of free time my mind tortures me by going back to last weekend.

I reel over the knowledge that Adam can speak. This whole time he has chosen to keep his voice silent. I wonder if Serena knows. What would she think of someone choosing to not speak when she so desperately wishes to be able to. Knowing Serena she wouldn’t judge him. She would probably completely understand his situation and agree with him.

My fingers swipe across my lips as I replay our kiss over and over. I can still feel the way his fingers felt in my hair; gripping onto me like I was a lifeline. I think about the way he didn’t pull away from him. How, after everything, he agreed to share my bed. And my heart aches with the memory of the sight of him making breakfast with my niece.

I hear my cell phone ping, pulling me from my thoughts. I take my eyes off the unwatched TV and grab my phone. I am surprised to find a text from Adam. I haven’t seen or heard from him since I dropped him off at home Sunday. He has been to the gym all week. Part of my brain says there’s a perfectly good reason for his absence but the other part screams I am to blame.

Hey hows it going  -A

I just stared at this one simple line of letters. What does he mean? Where has he been? After everything this is all he has to say. Then I start racking my brain…what do I say back? I shake my head.

Not much just been working -W

It has been driving me crazy to know why he hasn't been to the gym; so I figured if I bring it up he might tell me. I didn't want to come off too curious. The corner of my mouth tilts up when he replies almost instantly.

Same. Work sucks. Leaves me no time for the gym.  -A

So work is why…not me. Right? Or is he just saying that? Damn it! I've never had this much self doubt. I hate the feeling. I take a deep breath and pull out my confidence.

Good to know you werent just avoiding me ;)  -W

I make sure to add a winking face because I don't want him to think I'm upset with him. I want to respect his choices but after that kiss all bets are off. Even if nothing else comes from this I won't hold back anymore. Until he tells me to back off my forwardness will be only the beginning. I smirk to myself.

Not avoiding but not sure what to say either. -A

My brows crease together as I read his text. I have to remind myself to go slow so as not to scare him off.

From what I learned last weekend you can say a lot. -W

I tease him. But as I read back over I hope he doesn't take it the wrong way.

Haha yeah. You should feel special, very few people know that.  -A

A feeling of flattery and pride spreads through me. But him being able to speak isn't what I really want to ask about. I think back to him talking to the priest and that feeling of doubt fills my chest again. I need to just see where I stand.

Can I ask you a question?  -W

His reply isn't as instantaneous as his others. I watch as the dots symbolizing he is typing appear and disappear several times.

Yes. -A

When it lights up my screen the one short word suddenly makes me nervous.

First I need to know. Do you regret what we did?  -W