I wish,
you'd look at me
like the way
I look at you
I wish,
you'd search for me
like the way
I search for you
wherever I go
I wish,
you'd love me
like the way
I love you
But I know you
do not want me,
and I know you
will never be mine
It breaks...
Finally when they noticed the hand written letters sitting on the counter top, they decided to open them. The words pouring out onto the page. Each accustomed to Soobin's relationship with the member. What seemed heartfelt was actually heartbreaking.
Dear Beomgyu,
I know you and I have had our ups and downs due to the fact that we both were chasing the same person. The person who chose you. At first I was okay with it but as time grew, I realised how jealous and obsessed I was. I just wanted to apologised for how I acted upon you and Yeonjun hyung being together. I guess I was being really selfish and self absorbed. I know you probably hate me for trying to have him for myself when he clearly is in love with you. Just so you know, I won't haunt you, but please take care of Yeonjun for me.
Thanks Beommie
- Soobin
(short, I'm know. The thing is, I have a very short attention span and my brain capacity is like limited so I just winged it)
--------------------------------
Dear Yeonjun hyung,
I usually know what to say but this time, I don't. I'm sorry for falling in love with you. Please stop crying, it's my fault for loving someone unattainable. Every single time we did something together, I just felt butterflies but then I would see you with Beomgyu and I would realise that I would never be able to be loved by you. At first, it kind of broke me seeing you with him and in the end, I was just jealous and wanted you to myself. I guess loving you was the best form of self destruction. I was being selfish and I want to apologise for any trouble I have caused you. I feel terrible for acting the way I did. I hope you can forgive me.
I'm not asking for much but I really hope you can take care of yourself and have the freedom you need. Please forget about me and go live your life. Don't blame yourself, I bought it upon myself. While you live your best life, I will silently hope that time has made a mistake and has already reserved a moment for us to find each other again. And as I used to say,
Farewell Yeonjunnie. See you one day
- Soobin
---------------------------
Who knew such little words could have such a massive impact. Tears are falling non-stop from Yeonjun's eyes as Taehyun and Huening Kai read their letters. Beomgyu on the other hand, has already curled into a ball, soaking his clothes with salty tears. His eyes now already red and puffy, he sniffles as he hugs Yeonjun. He tightened his hug as if the world is ending and he needed to hug Yeonjun as much as possible. Huening Kai and Taehyun continue their crying agenda, comforting each other.
The atmosphere for the rest of the day was a moody and sad one. You could almost hear crying, sobbing and mumbling for the whole day. No one was in a good mood, no one wanted to do anything, no one wanted to say anything and no one wanted to live anymore; but in the end, they have each other and that's all that matters. A formerly happy family of five, now a grieving family of four, but soon to be a depressed family of three.
"Promise we never leave each other, yea?" Yeonjun calms everyone down.
"Yea" Beomgyu and Huening Kai lowly mumble. Yeonjun turns to look at Taehyun but then, realisation hits and he apologises.
"It is what it is. But I promise I will fight every day to stay alive" Taehyun promises.
"Promise?" Beomgyu asks, cocking his head to the side and stares at Taehyun with his doe eyes while holding his pinky out.
"I promise" Taehyun sweetly replies, linking his pinky to Beomgyu's and says 'pinky promise'.
