Saving the Winter Soldier

Day 16 - Sadie

The next day goes slow. I'm constantly checking the clock to see it reach the last checks at 6pm. All night and day, memories of Bucky, Steve and I flash through my mind. They're just two years older and the two of them often included me in their adventures and fun. It broke Steve when Bucky left to join the army. I never told anyone just how much it broke me too.

"Hey Wanda, I need a favour" I pull her to the side as she exists the bathroom after last check.
"What is it?"
"I need you to cover for me. If anyone asks just say I wasn't feeling well and went to see the doctor"
"What are you doing Sadie?"
"I really can't tell you but it might lead to us getting out of here. I promise I'll be back before midnight. If I'm not, I've probably been caught and killed but I have to try."

Wanda looks at me with scepticism and I respond with pleading eyes. We made a pact on day one that we'd help each other get out of the camp if we got the chance.
"Fine, but please be careful!" She whispers.
"Thank you, Wands!" I give her a hug before sneaking out of the building.

I stick to the shadows as I make my way towards the men's area. If either the guards or male recruits find me, I'm dead but I have to speak to Bucky. I looked at the camp map in the canteen at lunch and saw that the number Bucky gave me is in an apartment block. I heard that the higher ranking soldiers and officers live in more private accommodation on camp. It's the low level solders and trainees that live in dorms.

I luckily make it to the apartment block without being seen. I try to open the main door but it's locked and you need a pass to enter. I turn around to find another way when I walk straight into a solid chest. A hand comes out immediately and covers my mouth from screaming. I recognise the eyes that peer down at me. A little beep goes off and the door behind me opens. I take a step back and Bucky releases his hand from my mouth. I step aside and he leads me up two flights of stairs to his apartment without saying a word.

Once inside, he locks the door behind him and I take in the space. It's a small studio apartment with a tiny kitchen, table with two chairs, a small sofa and a double bed in the corner. A door on the far wall must be to a bathroom. There are no decorations or personalised touches.

"Take a seat" Bucky breaks the silence and nods to the sofa across from the table where he sits.
I nervously sit, not knowing what question to ask first. I take a good look at him now. He's in black jeans and a black t-shirt that shows off his large muscles underneath. There's so much of him and I suddenly feel very small. Bucky has always been attractive and I had a crush on him since I was about fourteen. He was just a teenager then, but now he's a man.

"I'm guessing you didn't chose to be here"
his voice is low and gruff. I shake my head.
"Have you seen Steve? I need to find him"
"Steve's not here Sadie"

Tears prick my eyes. I don't know whether it's all the emotions from the last two weeks catching up with me or, the fact that Steve got away and that I may never see him again. Maybe my tears fall because I've found Bucky very much alive after all this time.

"Fuck" Bucky pushes his hands through his hair as he paces the space between.
"Bucky? What happened to you? We waited and waited but you never came home"
"You don't want to know"
"I need to!" I stand up in front of him, "You left without saying goodbye. You left Steve! You left me" I say the last part under my breath.

Bucky sighs and sits back down, rubbing a hand over his face. I take my seat back on the sofa watching him anxiously.
"Things at home were worse than you knew. My dad didn't cope well after Rebecca and Mum died. I had to get out of there Sadie. I was finally eighteen and signed up for the army. I couldn't spend one more day in that house"
"You could have stayed with us"
"No, your parents were good to me but I was an adult, I had to find my own way. After a year in the army, I got approached for an opportunity which offered more money. I didn't know what I was signing up for" he leans forward on his elbows towards me "Promise me, Sadie. Promise me you won't let them get in your head. Don't forget who you are"

I'm sat speechless. I can hear my heart rate thumping.
"Promise me" he repeats.
"I promise"
"Good girl. You need to get back before you're noticed missing" he stands and heads for the door. I come up next to him as he looks through the peep hole.
"I'll let you know when to come here next, we can speak more then" we're standing face to face, inches from each other. I try to read his emotions but I have no idea what's going on in his head.

I reach up and gently cup his face with my hand, almost checking if he's really real. His eyes flutter close at the contact and slightly leans into my palm.
"What happened to you?" I whisper the same question I asked earlier. My heart hurts for him.