Boys of Freedom

[4] 𝕯𝖆𝖞𝖉𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌

(Daydreaming)

★
Hey, this is not real. I hope someone's reading, though.

★

"Now, tell me what's been going on, Elion."

We were sitting in the treehouse, sun shining through the dusty windows, making Goren's dark blue eyes sparkle, when he glanced up at me, from the piece of parchment he was drawing on.

"There's not much to talk about."

I played with my hair, noticing it was getting long again. Well, longer than what I liked it to be. I had cut my long, braided hair off, some time ago, when I had felt really dysphoric one night. My mum had been angry at me for weeks after, but I had just left, every time she mentioned how bad it looked, or that I shouldn't have done it. It was messy in the back, and certainly not as pretty as Goren's long, almost white, but still masculine looking hair, but I liked it. It made me feel like a boy, and that was what mattered.

"Well, you're taking Transformatio, right?"

"Right."

"Why haven't you told me?"

Goren was now aggressively writing something down on another piece of parchment, his right hand moving to the sound of music from the record player. I had brought it up here in the treehouse, figuring it would be nice with some music. It had been my dad's, just like the leather jacket. Him and his stupid human-stuff.

"I don't know."

I watched him closely, trying to figure out what he was writing.

"What are you doing?" I asked, and leaned over the parchment.

"Writing down stuff about white fawns. I've been observing them for quite a while now, and they're fascinating creatures, breathtaking."

"Yeah, they really are."

We sat in silence for a bit, and I was daydreaming about meeting and petting a white fawn. They really were breathtaking creatures.

★

Goren remembered what we were actually talking about, and nudged my shoulder.

"Does Transformatio help with your dysphoria?"

I shook my head, trying to get back to reality.

"Yeah, it does, though it takes time to change my hormones, so I'm only noticing slight changes."

"Yeah, I understand. I'm already noticing a lot of changes, though."

I smiled and Goren went back to his drawing, bobbing his head to the music.

"I think you should tell your mum soon." He was still drawing, but not bobbing his head anymore.

"Why?"

"Well, you're beginning to change and it is noticeable, Elion." He placed his quill down and ran his hand through his hair.

"You're beginning to look like..."
He paused for a second, eyes flickering.

"You're beginning to look like your father."

I was taking back by this. I definitely did not look like my father. Or did I? I didn't want to look like him.