criminal case: oneshots of chaos

chapter 37: the guilt hidden under the cold stare

summary: orlando is grieving, remembering his late husband, so amy talks to him and comforts him, while explaining about her own past as well.

orlando:'in his room as he stared at the ceiling, it was just so difficult to see his husband again, he missed the days when he was alive, when they had so much fun together, when they were really happy'

he missed sirius.

Seeing him alive again just broke his heart into a million pieces.

He had remember when sirius was sick, he was so weak that he couldn't get out of bed.

It broke his heart to see his husband so weak, He died peacefully in his sleep, Orlando cried for weeks.

amy: Orlando?

the man turned and saw amy, Who had a concerned look on her face, she walks into his room and sits down on a chair.

orlando: Hello Amy, If you're here to ask me if I'm okay, I'm okay, I've been dealing with a lot lately but I think I'm going to be okay.

amy: Are you sure you'll be okay? I know it's really tough and you can be honest with us, We're all worried about you.

orlando:'sighs'it's just.....seeing him again reminded me of the good memories we had, when he was still alive.....it's just not fair that he passed away.....

amy:'frowns'

orlando: i'm sorry if i'm upsetting you with my mood.

amy: you're not upsetting me at all, i would just remembering a few things from my past and remembering why I joined T.I.M.E.....

orlando: i hope you don't mind me if I ask, but why did you join?

amy:.....i had hope that one day I would go back to the past, where everything was so good before things ended in the nightmare, So I could see him again......

orlando: You were seeing someone? Is that why she asked you about him? I didn't mean to ease drop but I've heard you talk about a man named Russell.

amy: yes, He's the love of my life, or he was the love of my life.

orlando: Did something happen with your relationship?

amy: Yes but we were on really good terms so we didn't break up, It's just really complicated and upsetting......

orlando: you don't need to tell me if you don't want to.

amy: but I want to tell you because I want to get this off my chest.....

orlando: if you want to tell me then you can tell me but don't force yourself to do it, i can see that remembering the past is bringing back awful memories to you.

amy: It is but I have gotten stronger and I need to face the demons that I went through, Even if I haven't seen most of them or if many of them are dead, They will always haunt me....

the scene changes to a flashback, showing a younger Amy, It was showing a few years ago but after some time after Pacific Bay, She looked very happy with Russell, Who was smiling at her and showering her with kisses, They look like a happy couple, Amy leans close to Russell as her head was on his chest.

amy: We were a very happy couple, He always knew what to say to make me feel better, And he made sure that I was happy.

orlando: He sounds like a very wonderful man, How did you meet him?

amy: when I was working in Pacific Bay, i was a junior officer and he was the profiler, many of the officers had warned me that he was a strange man, many of them even said that they wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be a killer, it was because of how different he acted from them, He was very smart and didn't really say anything about his past or his home life, He never talked about himself, He was very serious about his job, People said that he was a sociopath, But I didn't believe them, I knew that they were just trying to make up rumors to make him look bad, They were probably jealous of him though.

orlando: And why would they be jealous of him?

amy: Because he was really handsome.

orlando: ah.

amy: it was love at first sight, but I was sure that he would never notice anyone like me, but he actually had his eye on me, He told me that it was because he was worried about me, But as time passed, He realized that he was falling in love with me.

orlando: wow.

amy: He's demisexual by the way.

orlando: interesting, So he was getting to know you and that's when his feelings started to bloom for you.

amy: ya, I still remember the day he kissed me, It was so wonderful and it was everything I dreamed of.

her face turns red as she coughs a bit.

amy: anyway, We dated for a few years and got married, And that was when I was focusing on my job more, He supported me a lot but he was feeling like I wasn't home, And he was right, I was focused on my job so much that I forgot that I had a husband, I would come home so late that I would barely even greet him, Which caused the fight.

It shows Amy and Russell arguing, Amy looks very tired while Russell looks very upset, Like his heart was just broken.

amy: it was raining that day so he took his umbrella and he said that he was going out for a walk, that was when I realized that I had upset him, i tried to go after him and then.....It happened.

The flashback then reveals Russell walking on to the street with his umbrella open, He did not notice the car that was driving, Amy reached out to her hand but it was too late.

a thud was heard, then Russell's body fell to the ground, His umbrella breaking onto the ground due to the impact.

amy stared in horror as tears fell down his face.

amy: I called 911 and they drove him to the hospital, They told me that he died, It was due to head trauma, I felt so guilty that I couldn't go to work for a while, I was depressed for a very long time until the chief found me.

orlando: amy.....

amy: He gave me hope that I could still save others, I failed to save my husband but I am not going to fail this team.

orlando: i'm so sorry you had to go through that, but I hope that you know that you are not alone, you have people that care about you and we aren't going to let you go through this alone, i promise, is this why you're always so strict? And please be honest with me, do you think it's your fault your husband died?

amy: yes, But after a few years in therapy, I realized that it wasn't my fault, But I wished I spent more time with him, He had abandonment issues, He went through a lot when he was younger and I didn't mean to hurt him, I was just so busy and I should have made time for him, He always made time for me, But I didn't.....

she cries into her hands as orlando hugs her, comforting the crying woman.

orlando: I'm so sorry you have to go through it but I'm sure he's happy for you, You have so many good friends, And you are people that trust you.

amy:'sniffles'

orlando: Maybe one day if we are lucky enough, We might get transported into the past where we'll see Russell again.

amy: But that's a one in a million chance, There's no way it could happen.

orlando: then we must have faith in ourselves, if I could see my late husband alive, then so could you, you can't give up hope right away but you can keep on dreaming.

amy:'smiles and wipes her tears away'ya, thanks for helping me and listening to what I have to say, And I'm sorry that you had to remember your past.

orlando: I have to admit that remembering my past brought back a lot of memories, It made me realize that I will always love my husband no matter what, Even if he didn't remember me in this timeline, i know the real sirius would.

amy:'smiles and hugs him'

orlando:'hugs back'

meanwhile, in the corner of the storage room, an electric mask lights up, revealing a face, someone was in the storage room, wearing a robotic mask on, it was smiling as the figure waves at the readers.

then everything turns black, the face lights up in the darkness as giggling is heard.