To Hurt and To Heal

Words to Live By

From a little green spark from the end of her father's wand, Delphi was shaken back onto the ground. Delphi's grip on the ground wound to grow tighter and tighter as she was thrown across the room. As she left scratching markings that turned white, it felt as if she was not living anymore, which was nothing compared to being alive. She wished the feeling would come back only for a second, but she was taken out of the trance as she fell to her knees. She could beg for forgiveness, for her life, but Delphi wasn't stupid and she wasn't strong enough. She knew well enough what would happen. She would once again become wrapped up in the same loop she always had been, her mess.

Running from a fight was never an option, neither was not winning. This was different, it was her own father and what she had once wanted would ruin her. Delphi knew this was to come, she had hope, hope to find a family and well...she got her wish. Many had thought she didn't feel anything at all, she couldn't blame them. What she had done, these terrible horrible things, she wouldn't forgive herself for them let alone others, but she hoped they would see through her. Behind her dark colours, to search further than her cold and cruel past. She always thought her life would end one day, sooner or later, she hoped she wouldn't have to hide behind the walls anymore. Delphi was tired. She was tired of running, of hiding, and maybe even killing. It was all for the thought of feeling, to feel normal because she was truly never considered. Her anger drove her to commit unforgivable acts. She knew her father was right, she didn't deserve forgiveness or any other emotion than hate, she could not and would not recover from this.

Her head rang from the pain as her knees scraped upon the glassy floor. She didn't dare say anything, not even a whimper or slight change in breath, she knew the effect. She pulled her hair back, shifting her gaze to stare up and down. By another motion, she turned, then turned again, causing her father's laughter to grow. Of course she still lived, why would she die when she had so much to live for?

Her head hung back, nearly the collar of the clothes that weren't hers, but they weren't anybody else's either. She felt as if her mouth had become taped shut. She felt as if her blood was no longer in her body, all of the warmth draining from her veins. By the time she had turned around once more, she had to cling onto her knees to stop the throbbing pain that erupted upon her body. High pitched screams wreaked down the hall, she had to fight back her own screams, but it was getting harder. She hauled her weight above the ground, gasping for air as she squeezed her eyes shut.

When she thought things couldn't get any worse, they did. Delphi didn't care how much she had suffered, how far she had come, but the only thing she did care about was once again lost. She felt like a fool. Her body ached so badly that she could barely drag herself off of the floor. But she got up anyway. She did it over and over again. And again. She was finding it far harder to concentrate, her father standing over her, tracing the scars on her arms. Then all of a sudden, he dropped his wand and walked away, he stepped aside and gave her a little bow. A muse of his performance, the theatre of heartbreak. She never really understood her gifts or...flaws, not that she would admit to having any. The next few minutes consisted of painful jabs and punches, it left Delphi stuck in a blur of whimpering. Somehow, she's not really quite sure how it happened, but she left a tear trail down the side of her face. The pain was too much to handle, but she didn't look it. It was utterly pathetic, she tried to keep it hidden and she nearly got away with it. She really thought she was going to disintegrate into a mess of black robes and dirty ashes, and even from a distance, you could see it in her eyes.

"Is this what they teach in Hogwarts?" he sneered as she stumbled back onto her knees. His voice wasn't as cold as she imagined it would be. It changed with every word or phrase, making his touch seem quite colder and vile than she ever would have thought.

She returned to her thoughts, her fathers following moving closer and closer, cornering her to the ground. She stared up at her father, she was too out of breath to answer. She knew she wasn't able to use magic in the outside world. But she also knew she had to win this fight, she wanted this moment, this moment alone with her father.