CARDIGAN- J. HUGHES

Six

When you are young they assume you know nothing

I woke up covered in sweat, crying and wanting to hurl myself off my balcony. I had a dream about Jack. Though it wasn't just a dream. It was a memory. It was real.

I was in the devils facility, waiting outside the locker room for Jack after attending his game. They had lost and I know Jack was gonna take it personally. He had a 10 minute misconduct called on him and had to go into the locker room, he was gonna be pissed.

I had been with him for nearly 5 months now so I've seen him after a loss and he was usually upset but he got over it. He didn't want to do anything after a loss but cuddle and watch movies, he was so much more gentle than I could've imagined.

He walked out of the locker room staring at the ground with a blank stare. "Let's just go home, ok? I still think you did great" I kept my voice quiet and he just nodded his head with a sigh. He drove us back to his apartment and once we got there he threw his stuff down and walked to the kitchen to start cooking. "Hey, why don't you go change and I'll cook ok? I'll put your stuff away too, don't worry about it" I grabbed his face gently in my hands and kissed him softly.

"Baby you don't have to-"

"I want to Jack. I swear. Go" I sent him up to his room before I prepared us some dinner and even baked some cookies while he showered and got ready to relax after the hard loss.

I had put away all his gear and set the table by the time he came down. "Go sit, im plating it up" I ordered. He sat down and I served him his dinner before sitting next to him. We ate in silence, this loss was eating him up I could tell.

I sighed as I cleaned up, telling him to go sit on the couch. It didn't take long anyway. I then brought him some of the fresh baked cookies and curled up beside him. Finally, he dropped his arm around me and placed a kiss to my head. "I'm sorry" he whispered sadly. "I've been replaying the loss in my head and I can't help but hate myself for being so stupid. It's killing me Lily" he admitted.

"It's ok, next time you know what to do" I told him. He nodded and kissed me, pulling me into his lap. When he pulled away I saw something shift in his eyes. Sadness, pain, and sorrow filled his beautiful blue eyes and I frowned, hating how upset he was. "Jack, don't beat yourself up" I pleaded.

"It's not that...i came home and was a complete douche tonight over losing a hockey game. Not even a playoff game. You were so sweet and made dinner and cleaned up, Lily I didn't deserve that." He sighed. "I don't deserve you" he finally said. It broke my heart.

"Don't say that, your all I ever wanted" I reminded him. He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Your right."

That was the beginning of the end. Things changed after that night and not for the better. He became distant and hostile, like he couldn't be bothered to do things with me or see me. It all built up until the night it all reared it's head and things ended in flames.

That memory should be sweet, it should bring me joy knowing I once had him and he was everything. Instead, the only thing I think of when I think of that memory is what I did wrong. What I did that night to destroy every ounce of happiness I once had.

I rubbed my eyes, knowing they were gonna be puffy as hell all day but atleast today I was planning on just going with the flow. No real plans so who cares. The only plans I had were to meet Luke at the main pool. Luke and everyone, and yes I mean everyone. Including Jack and Sienna. So that was gonna be fun.

It's a real shame because I've met Sienna before when they were together and she was actually so kind and chill. It makes it harder because I can't hate her and I really, really want to. Why can't she be a snobby bitch?