The boys angst

2. Juicy x Narrator 💔

This chapter is pure angst and it involves self harm, eating disorders, and attempted suicide. I know, two Narrator chapters in a row, sue me because he is a saint and he will appear in almost every angst chapter. I try to make every angst chapter have a happy ending, but you win some you lose some.

Please, if you feel like death is the only way out, seek help, there are so many people who love you, and if you can't think of anyone, then look to the future, you will find your special person, you will find your reason to live, don't give up. The world is such a beautiful place with you in it.

You are not alone.

You are enough.

Juicy's POV

I was sitting in my bed, alone as always. I rolled out of bed, standing up slowly and wobbling towards my kitchen. I haven't seen The boys in a while, I missed them a lot, but I knew that they didn't miss me. I was distancing myself from them, making sure that when the day came, they would have forgotten about me, just like everyone else. I just kept turning down any plans the Boys made, and eventually they stopped asking, they stopped texting, they stopped calling, and now I'm here, the only person who hasn't given up on me yet is Narrator, he calls me every day, up to five times a day. I usually miss all his calls on purpose, but I listen and save all his voicemails, because he leaves one every time he calls. Sometimes I answer his calls, but all I do is tell him to stop calling me, then I hang up right away, after that he usually waits a day or two before he starts calling daily again.

My stomach gurgled from hunger but I ignored it. The truth is, I developed a chronic eating disorder a few months ago, it all started when Liv and I broke up, and I realized eating made me feel better. I ate too much, hated my body, and I've been starving myself ever since, only eating a granola bar or a few bites of one a day, if anything at all. Anytime I feel like I've eaten too much, I just throw up in the bathroom, whether on purpose or not. The last time I had a real meal was the last video I made with my friends. It was a 3am drunk cooking video and it was wonderful, that was probably the last time I was happy.

I looked at the calendar on my wall, it was blank other than crosses over the dates all the way up to today. Today was a special day, the date was circled in red marker, and the words inside the tiny box said 'Good bye'.

It was 11:00, and I had specific plans to leave at noon to go to my favorite spot. The view was beautiful there, and it was such an underrated spot, so no one was around.

I jumped in my car and hit the road, heading towards the half an hour drive to my favorite spot.

I got to my special spot by 11:35, and I looked around, the beautiful view took my breath away.

I grabbed my phone, clicking on the first number I saw, it was Narrator. I put the phone to my ear and he picked up instantly.

"Juicy!! Where have you been man? Are you okay? We've been so worried!" Narrator said, talking so fast I couldn't understand every word.

"H-hey man, I- yeah no, I haven't been doing so well, sorry for disappearing." I mumbled, looking into the distance.

"I'm so glad you called me, where are you? I'll pick you up and we can go out for lunch, The boys isn't the same without you, we miss you man." Narrator said.

"No, sorry, I- I can't, I called to say goodbye." I said, tearing up a bit.

"What? No, Juice where are you?!!" Narrator yelled, he sounded scared, worried even.