The boys angst

7. Juicy part 3/3 💔

This chapter involves suicide, I'm pretty sure I won't write any more chapters about suicide after this one, but there will be the occasional attempted suicide. Other than that, I am running out of ideas, so I write whenever an idea comes to mind, so this is basically a reminder that requests are open so please request stuff because I will do it no matter what it is, I just need ideas. (Maybe not omegaverse because I never liked that kind of stuff sorry) Literally anything else though PLEASE. Oki doki, enjoy the chapter, it's gonna be the most angsty one yet :D

Also, your quote of the day that I have no idea where it came from:

"Love never fails, so if it fails, it was never love."

I love you. Be safe. xxx

This chapter involves a gun, suicide, mentions of death, and general sadness. 😍

Eddie's POV, the week after

I was scrolling through my camera roll, looking for photos with him in it. Wishing that we had spent more time with each other without the cameras before he died.
I still don't want to believe he's dead. I was at his funeral, I saw his dead body, I watched his casket be lowered into the ground, I stood in front of his grave for hours, yet part of me didn't believe he was dead. All I could think was this had to be a dream, or maybe a cruel prank, this couldn't be real, I didn't want it to be.

I haven't gotten a half decent sleep ever since a week ago, which was when I got the news that Juicy was dead. I kept having dreams about him, and every time he was in my dream, he was mad at me, blaming me for what happened, blaming me for asking for the watch band, and I'd wake up crying every time. It's gone to the point I don't want to sleep, I'm scared I'll see him again. My health has just been getting worse and worse, and I honestly don't know how long I'll be able to keep going.
Of course it had to be on my fucking birthday.
My phone started ringing and I picked it up on the third ring. I looked at the screen, and for a moment, the contact said Juicy. I blinked twice and his name vanished, and I frowned.

"Hello?" I said, yawning.

"Hey Eddie, just checking up on you man! How are you?" Narrator asked. His voice was drenched with fake enthusiasm, and behind that cheery attitude, I knew he was still mourning, as was I.

"Not great, didn't sleep well last night, how about you?" I replied, I heard Narrator clear his throat quickly on the other end before he answered my question.

"Sorry to hear about that, you still having those dreams?" Narrator asked. I told him the first night I had one of those dreams, that's how he knew.

"Yeah, they got worse." I sighed.

"But it's okay, I'll be fine, how are you?" I asked again.

"I'm doing good, I-" He started, but I quickly cut him off.

"Don't lie." I said clearly.

"Sorry?" Narrator said, I could hear the confusion in his tone, and I sighed.

"Don't lie. Tell me how you're feeling." I said.

"No, I'm fine, seriously. I've been a little down since a week ago, but it's okay, thanks for your concern, but in all seriousness, you should really be worrying about yourself." Narrator reassured me, resuming his happy tone.

"What were you saying before?" I asked, remembering that I cut him off a moment ago.

"Oh! Yeah, I'm hanging out with some old friends from the army, I think it's gonna help me get my mind off things, their words, not mine." Narrator beamed, he sounded happy and excited to hang out with his old friends, and I was happy for him.

"You have any plans Eddie?" He asked, and I shook my head as if he could see me though the speaker.

"No, I haven't been outside in a while actually, I need to go grocery shopping but I don't want to." I mumbled. I continued to ramble on and on about all the chores I had to do around the house, and how much I hated doing chores. Narrator listened to all my rambling, come to think of it, he always did. Any time I was angry about something, I'd just ramble on and on about it until I got it all of my chest. He listened to every word, every single time. Sometimes he probably didn't understand a thing I was saying, but he'd still listen.

"Well, my friends are here to pick me up, I've got to go! Love you man, let's talk later, maybe make plans to hang out." Narrator said, hanging up after I said goodbye.

Once I hung up, I hung my head and sighed deeply, yawning again. I was so tired.

We haven't made a video all together with the boys since Juicy's death, it just doesn't feel the same anymore.

Mully and Josh made a collab video yesterday, watching cringe TikToks, and Narrator just posted a video an hour ago, reacting to military TikToks. Other than that, I haven't posted anything, and I probably won't for a while.

The only thing I have posted on social media was a twitter announcement, where I explained that I wasn't going to be posting anything for a while because of some personal reasons.

Liv hasn't been doing too good, I've checked up on her a few times this week, making sure she's okay. I've noticed she's shut down a little, and she's been spending a lot of time on her own, like myself.

We've only hung out in person once this week, it was two day ago, and it was because we went to visit Juicy's grave at the same time, a simple coincidence. She left after half an hour, but I stayed for a while longer, talking out loud to myself, wishing I was talking to Juicy. Maybe he was listening, I hope so.

"This only happened because I wanted that watch band." I groaned, lowering my head between my knees, crying.

I visited Juicy's grave every day this week, so after I finished crying, I stood up, grabbed my keys, and drove to the graveyard.

It wasn't a long drive, and when I got there, I kneeled down and put a green gang plush on his grave. I stayed there for two hours, just talking on and on about life, and finally, I stood up and walked back to my car, stopping to look back a few times.

"Miss you man." I mumbled, stepping into my car and driving down the road. I drove for a long time, all I could see around me was abandoned barns and big empty fields. I had no idea where I was, but I didn't care. I put the car in park on the side of the dirt road and grabbed something from the glove box.

"See you soon." I said, cocking the gun and pressing it to my temple.

Without a second thought, I pulled the trigger.

I was dead before I even heard the bang.