A Part Of My Life

"HIM ....."

Tonight's been quite a thing, I think I'm starting to fall for him....

small flashbacks from our meeting kept come to my head from his eyes to the way he'd smile and smirk at me and the way he'd get jealous when I'd be with Zack and Our fight which hurt me soo bad ....

I didn't know what was happening to me , I know it seemed strange but something was bothering me time and again....

I kept smiling and walking around the room and then and sit and feel bad about the Fight we got into...

I kept blaming myself and then push it onto him and then get it on me and get confused over and over again....

I was a weird feeling then I'd compare him to Zack and then think about who I'd choose ....

I think that Zack is a really nice guy he's never been rude to me or ever hurt me like Jake but then if you've never known a person how could you possibly fall for him , I mean I couldn't compare this to any movie or incident , I just kept thinking and thinking and didn't know what was I gonna do next....

I knew that Jake would come tonight like that day but I think he would be mad at me for not going with him...

Then I just didn't know what to do cause it was just as if I was in some kinda twilight scene , where Bella has to choose between Edward and Jacob , I know it's too early to think about who to choose and who to not , But I don't want to end up taking advantage of someone's comfort and choosing the person I've always known that was right ....

Maybe cause Bella used Jacob to get over Edward and ended up with him , in this it's difficult cause I don't know who's Edward and who's Jacob or I don't know who I need and who I belonged to ....

Maybe sometimes life gets you to a Bella decision where you know that it is a tough one , but if I ever had to tell someone I'd only tell them that you don't know what's coming ahead of you cause you know that the future does change on the decision you make well the only thing I can say is goodnight cause some decisions does make a difference ....

If I ever could I would love to thank my mom for giving me this diary , cause I can just fill it with all my emotions ....

Thanks a lot diary .....

After I was done writing in my diary I realized that I had my birthday in Four week's I mean what can these four  weeks mean to me , I just hope that this birthday as I turn 17 I would want to thank my mom for alot of things she's done for me , I'd never be able to do anything without her .........

Yours Dearly,

Elizabeth

(Don't forget my birthday's on 14th August !!!! :) )